@certified-msher / certified-msher.tumblr.com
Idk about this one boys, Cookie Monster always refers to Cookie Monster's self as "Cookie Monster".
no he doesn’t. he refers to himself as “me.” elmo’s the one that talks in third person. that’s the joke. elmo doesn’t use pronouns and cookie monster is blue. how dare you assume i made this post and didnt know my fucking sesame street history. christ
Why does @firefox-official know the ancient sesame Street lore?
It's a lot healthier to go for a daily walk than to sign up for a gym membership you won't be using because you hate that kind of exercise. It's a lot healthier to eat a frozen meal than to skip a meal because you were too tired to cook something healthy. It's a lot healthier to take a quick shower than to procrastinate an elaborate routine for days. Don't aim so high that you won't be hitting anything!
this is actually really helpful and affirming thanks
unfortunately i Do feel better when i clean my living space and eat enough fruits and veggies and go outside and generally remember i am a mammal :| real pity that knowing this does not make it easier to do those things
i deleted my blog and tumblr immediately asked me if i want to sign up again
and here you are
I don’t think it’s true at all that the reason most people dress boring is that they want to fit in sometimes you just need to accept that not everyone is obsessed with finding a unique style some people just wear clothes to avoid public indecency
bass makes a dollar. i make a dime. that's why i think about lesbian sex on company time
BASS?? BASS MAKES A DOLLAR????? IT'S BEEN TWO DAYS AND NONE OF YOU THOUGH TO TELL ME I MISSPELLED IT????????
fish exploit me women want me
they were gay af for this i must admit
Y’all callin everything gay now huh. One literally hated the other 😂
you have no idea what you’re talking about. cary elwes literally said their characters were in love at sawcon🙄
uh ... what's sawcon....
sawcon this cock
Date of origin: 24th May 2021
FINALLY some good fucking feature ideas from the tumblr devs. tamagotchi renaissance now
I feel like “I expect it” is a completely different vibe from the rest of this scale??
Child emperor ass response
the replies are killing me
A shirtless man with surgical scars on his chest replies to a comment reading, "poor lady what did you do to your".
The man says:
"So, I'm actually not transgender, and this is a really good example of why it's important to be aware that different medical procedures can leave very similar types of scars. And also just not to make assumptions about people in general. For example, yes, the scars I have do look really similar to what they call, um, I think top surgery scars. But they're actually from, uh, getting a set of my ribs removed, so I could suck my own -"
Video cuts off here.
End description.
pretty funny i guess
had to be there
Translation is always tricky, but I remember this slightly different:
Figs were an imported delicacy at the time, and the donkey just managed to eat them (without being given any on purpose). Seeing a donkey eating several times their own value in figs, the philosopher looked to his servant who might have been standing there either in shock, despair, or both, and said something along the lines of “Oh don’t just stand there. Get him some (undiluted) wine to wash the figs down with”. With (undiluted) wine also being an expensive drink.
I feel like that context makes it funnier. Basically like standing in front of your burning mansion with a butler, meeting their eyes, and telling them that you still feel a little chilly and ask them if they could put on an extra log or two.
idk what’s funnier, the burning house situation, or being the butler as you watch your master laugh so hard at his own joke that he fully fucking dies.
wanted to share my favorite tiktok
this has a very Vine energy and I like it
[Video ID:
There is a poster on a store wall that says ‘Halloween is here,’ but there is a line break separating ‘Halloween’ to ‘Hallo’ and ‘Ween.’
Man behind camera: Hallo! Ween is here!
The camera pans to another man who strums a small string instrument.
Other man: I am Ween
End ID]
What’s the description leaves out is that “Hallo! Ween is here!” Is said in a very silly, perky German accent.
me at half the animals on the post: “BITCH THAT’S H U G E”
THAT COW IS A HORSE.
That first maned wolf is a model.
so we just gon ignore that fucking super pig
@myqingdom Actually, that’s a pretty average-sized pig.
People think pigs are tiny, but they’re thinking of mini pigs and teacup pigs.
Regular pigs (the kind people eat and farm) are big, powerful creatures. And they know it. Male pigs are especially agressive and dangerous.
In Brazil the raditional werewolf is a corpulent pig, not a wolf, because our brand of wolves (maned wolves) are gentle and shy, whereas pigs are well-known in rural areas to not only kill small children (and the odd adult) but to outright eat them.
THESE are big pigs:
A museum in China is appealing to the Guinness Book of Records to recognise this 900 kg pig as the biggest pig in the world:
@ancient-trees Find me a pic of someone stupid enough to stand beside a fully grown polar bear and I’ll switch the picture.
me when i log onto www.youtube.con
Me when i find out who killed the radio star
This will never NOT be funny
I’m so glad this is on tumblr
My favourite thing about this is, he didn’t even have to call him ‘Captain’ he could have used the screen-name but he was SO MARRIED TO THE IMMERSION that he DID.
my fav.
Fun fact, the developers of this game loved this video so much that they made it an official advertisement of the game
