to remember how many feet there are in a mile, u just gotta use 5 tomatoes
five to-mate-oes sounds like five, two, eight, 0 and there’s 5280 feet in a mile
To remember how many meters there are in a kilometre you just remember “1000” because the system of measurement in the rest of the world wasn’t invented by a drunk mathematician rolling dice.
I FUCKING DIED. THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN.
THIS IS PERFECTION ❤️
“Which brings us to the part of the story that I want to have bottled, so I can enjoy a little sip of it over and over and over again, forever.”
Rachel Maddie: I love this story so much I wanna take it to Franklin Graham’s new bank and marry it… if it’s a lady.
why would they ever delete this scene
Food Network shows are fake because when they drop food into hot oil they don’t run away when the grease starts popping
i’ve lost my youth and young adult life to mental illness and those are years i’ll never fucking get back and it’s not poetic it’s fucking devastating
I’m Mo
Parks and Rec got Men’s Rights Activists exactly right and it was perfect.
years ago i watched this p/orn and the girl was screaming ‘oh god!! oh god!!!’ and the dude was like ‘there are no gods here’ and to this day it haunts me wtf was he talking about
