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@xam-go / xam-go.tumblr.com

25 m xam
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I used to write something so beautiful each piece of it was part of one whole world like a cosmos made of my body my life living forever on and on each sentence, each line, fit whole where has he gone? I don't remember him.

Something smells like coffee, early in the night. a saxophone maybe, on headphones crumpled in my pocket

Sitting in the passenger seat of a car,

a cigarette between paragraphs where is he? Where have i hidden from me?

I can't feel it anymore

Once it was like I was cutting just beyond this world into one---

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been having *deation much more frequently lately but also much more passing? interesting changes. 

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photographs are very beautiful, maybe I’ll learn how to do that

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anyway the strongest feeling I have been feeling with regularity in the past 4 months or so has been the desire for someone with cool hands to press them on my back and then just hold me

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trying to decide if my new tumblr vibe is horny, sad, sincere, or yes

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fuck it I’m '’darkwave’’ now

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fuck it I’m back on tumblr now

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reblogged

I have an illegal aviary

I have an illegal aviary. I built it with my two strong hands and my big smart brain. I found the wire. I found the metal. I watched the skies until I figured out where birds like to live: up on top of the apartment blocks. I scouted the roofs of the apartment blocks in the neighborhood until I found one that would work for my aviary. I used my ingenuity. I carried the wire and metal up the stairs all by myself. Don’t feel sorry for me. I like to carry a big heavy load. Salvaged iron or anything else. When I was done carrying it all up I ran back down the road and jumped the canal fence and dropped onto all fours and lapped up the canal water. I sat by the canal in my wet shirt and howled. Aooouu! Then I ran back to the roof. Head down wet shoes slapping and roaring so everyone knew to get out of my way. I found bricks and glue and built the aviary. Then I laid down and slept until night time. By the moonlight I pulled some crab apples out of my pockets. You can never predict where you’ll find crab apples but a divine force put these in my path. My intuition told me to pick them. I got two bricks and smashed the crab apples between them and scattered the pulp on the ground. Then I waited. A bat flew down to eat the apple and I caught it. Well, you can feel sorry for the bat. The bat did find its way to misery. I put a small heap of bat meat under a black plastic bucket propped up on a stick. In the morning a crow swooped down and looked at the bat meat. It looked at it for a long time. I put the crow in the aviary. I caught pigeons and seagulls. I put them in the aviary too. I had to build more aviary. I told a guy who was demolishing his house I’d take all the corrugated iron he had. He gave me $100 to take it. I used the iron to build an extension to my aviary and the $100 to buy two crab apple trees. I picked the crab apples off and smashed them to catch more bats to catch more birds. My aviary grew and grew. Day and night the air was filled with squawking and rustling. I built wider and then I built higher. Ladders and pulleys allowed me to reach the highest extent of my aviary. The people in the apartment block underneath started to get restive. They kept coming up to check their antenna or watch fireworks although it was, of course, obvious what they were doing. They wanted to learn my secret. They looked at me with expressions of envy that said, “this fellow indulges his passions without limits”. That’s what everyone wants. Me and everyone else.

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