I only get on here when I’m sad and lonely and man I’m really barely holding it together these days.  But you know.... that’s just life. 

I think what makes me a good friend is how shitty of a friend I believe myself to be. I dunno if it's low self esteem or just holding myself to a high standard.

Is there even a difference?

Up to Me

If it were up to me

You would have never taken that job in Chicago

A company close to home would have you

And pay you the amount that I believed you deserve

but companies can’t give you the world

and neither could I

If it were up to me

We would both be in warmer climates

Because no matter the season

We would be fine in each others arms

But the world can’t always bring summer

and neither could I

If it were up to me

We would have never said “I love you”

Because now I know the pain 

Watching you move forward with your life

But regret does not make the pain go away

and neither can I

"My friend told me not to date long distance. She said it is really difficult"

What the fuck. I'm right here. There is no distance.

5 stages of being out

1. I'm hesitantly excited for what the night brings. It seems like it's going to be fun 2. I'm HYPE. I'm singing all the words to the Future songs and dancing to every dope track. 3. I wanna girl to dance with but all the girls I'm with are either with their boyfriend or just boring. 4. The fear of rejection leads to extreme inaction on my part and I'm just being sad in the corner. I'm thinking about my life and whether I'll be alone forever. I'm hoping the girl in the group who I have a crush on will come and check on me and we have a heart to heart so I can open up my feelings to her, but she never comes. 5. Drink water and cool off. Listen to Marvin's Room as I cry myself to sleep.

#nowplaying

This is my friend Pahul and I'm so glad I FINALLY got this picture because Mr. Paul with an H in the middle might be one of the most interesting people I know. He's the shooting guard in my all-star pick up basketball squad, and no one is touching him at any first person shooter game if he gets serious. He should quit his job and play video games professionally but that would be a waste of his brain because he is really freaking intelligent too. Although he hides it with bizarre jokes and goofy fake accents. Pahul knows how to teleport too, a skill he has never really explained but somehow he is always able to get to places way faster than anyone else. I think he just runs really fast but he is never sweaty so I still have questions 🤔 I could write a book about how dope Pahul is but honestly, whose trying to read all that? It would be too much.