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A Devil's Dancing In The Rain...

@apocalypticdentistry / apocalypticdentistry.tumblr.com

27, Pansexual, nonbinary. He/they. English, Grumpy old bastard. Emotional state: the bridge in TOXIC GARBAGE ISLAND.
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You know what? I want a whole post for this:

Sex Repulsion is not the same thing as, or an excuse for, Sex Negativity

non-negotiable!

I am a sex-repulsed asexual. This means that I am uncomfortable and repulsed by the idea of engaging in sexual acts. This does not mean that I have an excuse to be repulsed by other people's sexual attraction or the right to police how other people engage in or express sexual acts or attraction.

Young queer people need to learn the difference between sex repulsion and sex negativity, and actively work to unlearn sex-negative attitudes. Asexuality, even sex-repulsed asexuality, is and should be fully compatible with sex positivity.

If you are uncomfortable with the idea of other people feeling sexual attraction or engaging in sexual acts that do not involve you in any way, that is not sex repulsion it is the cultural Christianity and you need to seriously work on that.

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lakevida

man left without meaningful tasks for a week seen walking around with a notepad to critically assess all the wall-ceiling angles in his home with genuine contempt

absolutely fucked

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wizardonline

you're just dropping abstract art into my hands like it's nothing. i could sell this to the museum of modern art. or the cleveland museum of art

do NOT sell my kitchen to the CMA i can't make the commute. MoMA is fine though i can go there with my mind

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mikufigure

looked like the old meme backgrounds

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necarion

Compare the work my dad did when converting our attic to a living area. It's an attic, so the built-in angles are totally fucked, and there is nothing you can do to make them square. But damn if he wasn't going to make them meet elegantly. If it requires a totally new interior wall to make it feel more livable, then absolutely (any vertical wall in the picture is added).

im nauseous

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me: sometimes 'science,' as a mode of inquiry, is put to explicitly power-bound ends like creating and reifying categories of 'race' or shoring up imperial and colonial power

57 people on this website immediately and in unison: i agree, sometimes the honourable good enlightened morally good venerable scientists have their noble enlightening edifying inherently valuable work misused for nefarious ends by some other actor whose goals are a horrible anomalous deviation from normal scientific functioning! good post op!

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I can't be autistic bc I'm actually great at understanding social cues!

[Cut to my POV, a Terminator-style overlay analyzing word choice and body language while over everyone's head a bar labeled Are They Mad At Me shows varying levels]

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Anonymous asked:

Is it cringe to be into trans men but not cis men? I’m a transfem and I don’t know if this is fetishistic but I’m just always feeling unsafe around cis men in a way trans men never made me feel. I feel guilty about it and don’t know how to explain it outside of that.

nah i think it’s valid. there are gonna be some ppl who will be weird abt it bc they’re obsessed with insisting that trans men are indistinguishable from cis men but that’s just simply not true. we’re different from cis men, so dating us will be a different experience, and that’s okay. it’s okay to want that different experience, especially as a fellow trans person. as long as you just treat them like a human being and don’t make weird comments about their genitals, which i’m sure won’t be a problem, then you’re all good. live ur t4t dreams.

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and like. i kinda have weird feelings abt fetishization bc like ok.

i hooked up with a queer person who used all the right language and did all the right things, but then they told me they only date ppl who were afab, regardless of gender. they’ll fuck ppl who were amab but they won’t date them, only afab ppl. the further we got into the convo, it became clear that the reason they only wanted to date ppl who were afab is bc we are more likely to have been socialized to take on the brunt of the domestic and emotional labor in relationships. that hookup ended up lasting over an hour bc they kept interrupting sex to complain about their ex wife. by the end i was practically shoving them out the door because i was so uncomfortable.

the guy i’m hooking up with right now is very cis and found me through the ftm tag on grindr, so he was specifically looking for trans guys. he told me he’s into trans guys because he likes sleeping with masculine people, mostly men, but he also likes the way vaginas feel. could that be seen as fetishistic? sure. does it feel that way to me when we have sex? nope. he uses gender affirming language without even being asked, he tells me he’s super into my body and gets excited when he notices that i’ve grown more hair or had a t dick growth spurt. he likes my body because it’s trans, and i’m perfectly okay with that.

i felt so much more fetishized by the queer person who was actively seeking out afab ppl to take advantage of essentially patriarchal trauma than i ever have by the guy who just likes trans pussy. so i feel like we just really need to have a conversation about what it actually means to fetishize someone because it very much feels like it’s just become “thinks trans ppl are hot” and i hate that literally other trans ppl are scared of finding other trans ppl hot for fear of fetishizing. trans ppl are fucking hot! our trans bodies are hot! it’s okay to be sexually attracted to trans bodies!

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hazel2468

THIS. This this this, a thousand times this.

I personally think that a lot of people have decided that "being attractive to something non-normative" = "fetishizing" which... Is just blatantly not true. But it's how you end up with people who think that someone who is explicitly (and perhaps only) attracted to trans/genderqueer bodies is an evil fetishizer instead of, you know. Someone who likes that kind of body. Same vein of thinking as people who think that those who are attracted to fat people are all chubby chasers with a fat/feeding fetish instead of just people who find fat bodies attractive.

Like imo? There is no fucking difference between saying "Oh yeah, I really like guy pussy" and "I really like big dick and muscles." It's just what you like, and I hate that when someone expresses that they like something that is seen as "not normal"- not a straight, cis, white, abled, thin body, people act like it's a fetish or it's objectifying. Because what that says, at least to me as a fat genderqueer transmasc, is that being attracted to me as I am is inherently not normal and not good. And that is a fucking SHITTY message to send.

The problem with trans chasers and chubby chasers and "fetishizers" (and honestly, people really need to like, read up on what a fetish is because I'm sick of seeing it used as some bad thing all the time, it's not) is that they treat people as not whole people. Whether, as in the example above, they take advantage of actual or perceived trauma and behavior associated with one's assigned gender, or as a personal example, they're only interested in sleeping with you because they've "never fucked a fat chick and hear that you girls give awesome head". People who do that shit see the people they go after as experiences or novelties, or as something exotic. A sex object that they can use.

Whereas someone who is just into trans bodies, fat bodies... They just like those bodies. And they will treat you as a whole person. You're not a sexual toy to them- you're a person that they think is hot, that they want to sleep with. They care about you and your body and what you need. Again, it's no different than someone who dates people with brown eyes or cool dyed hair because they find those things attractive. It's just "this is what I look for physically in a partner".

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glyphsmash

my stupid fucking aunt loraine bought us an air friar for our wedding present 🤦‍♀️ the apartments barely big enough for the two of us now weve got this dumb asshole flying around preaching at us ... every time i get a migraine he tries to give me herbs and poultices 🙄

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galahadiant
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deirdreskye

Do high school kids these days just have trans classmates now. Like I keep seeing zoomer posts casually referring to it. Fucking wild if true.

Here's what prompted this post btw

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emil

yeah my younger sibling's friend group made bets about if any more of them would end up as trans lol

[ID: tags reading “I mean yeah” and “were we. not supposed to have trans classmates (keysmash)” end ID]

I’m going to take these tags a little more seriously than they were probably intended.

We are elated y’all have trans classmates. We didn’t. We didn’t because it wasn’t an option to be trans, you probably didn’t even know the word. And if you did, your parents would have abused it out of you. And if they didn’t, the school staff would have. And if they didn’t, the other kids definitively would have.

I’m not even that old and let me tell you, my first year of high school, gay rights got discussed and that was it. Most were favorable about it and thought gays should just be allowed to do their own thing! So it wasn’t horrible on that front! But I had teachers tell me in the same breath bisexuality didn’t exist. And transness? Wasn’t even discussed. Even in my friend group of multiple bisexuals, I could count the number of times I even heard the word before I graduated high school, and it was said with apprehension. Like we were gonna get in trouble for knowing the word. Because in some families, you would have been in trouble for knowing the word “transgender”.

Trans acceptance has a long way to go, but please please please be aware that 10 years ago it was unthinkable, not because everyone hated trans people, but because a lot of people didn’t know they existed to think it.

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theredkite

This. I went to school before section 28 was repealed. I didn’t know trans people existed and, assuming my teachers even did, it would have been illegal for them to inform me. Queer people were officially not supposed to exist. Was I the only trans kid in my school? Probably not. Were there kids who, unlike me, knew they were trans? Maybe! I know people my age who transitioned younger. It was possible, just less common than now. I don’t know what my single-sex boarding school would have done if someone had come out as trans, but I do know when a boy at my then-boyfriend’s single-sex boarding school was outed as gay his parents were called to pick him up for his own safety. And yeah, boarding schools were probably worse than normal schools but section 28 applied everywhere. 

So it is strange to think of openly-trans kids just living their lives and being a normal part of school life. (Kind of like how my grandad probably found it strange that there weren’t a load of kids with post-polio syndrome at my dad’s school.) It is, in fact, fucking amazing. Because we didn’t have that. It’s wonderful that it’s normal to gen Z, but maybe some people in the notes could stop expecting the rest of us to not marvel at how far the world has come in the span of less than a generation. Progress is good and should be celebrated.

I WAS the trans classmate back in like 2012, but I was at a southern Baptist high school where if you even mentioned SUPPORTING gay people, they could kick you out. I was closeted at home and at school and the only place I felt even remotely safe was on the internet and amongst a few of my friends I was not even fully out to. I was fucking miserable, but that's a post for another day.

I came out to all my friends when I graduated in 2016. And a few years later, like three of my friends/acquaintances came out as trans/genderfluid/nonbinary in some way.

Some of us existed, some of us knew we were trans, but it wasn't safe to be out. You guys are lucky you have what you have now, but the people in power are trying to take that away from you and make ALL schools like my school. Make it mandatory to report trans kids to their parents and send them to conversion therapy, make it illegal for teachers to use kids' preferred names or pronouns, etc.

They want everyone to go to a southern Baptist high school.

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roughkiss

If you have a trans classmate or you are that person, be careful out there. It makes my heart sing, but it's also a scary time for our community. If somebody comes out to you as trans or some other flavor of queer, make sure you are VERY careful with that information. Just because your friends are cool it doesn't mean that all the kids in class are. Or that the parents are.

Hell, I've had students ask me about my own sexuality, which where I am could get me fired and ostracized if the wrong person found out. If someone privileges you with that kind of information about them, make sure you are aware of what you say and who you say it around. Using the correct name and pronouns is the right thing to do unless it's going to get somebody hurt. If your friend comes out to you, ask them where it's okay to use that name or who can know. I've found that some of my students seem confused by the question, which is great, that means we're making progress! But we don't live in a safe area. You don't want your friend to accidentally out you to the whole class and get you bullied. Not all teachers are allies; a lot of them aren't. I try to ask who knows what I know, and my rule of thumb is, don't talk about it at all except with the kid who told me.

Be safe out there!

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meow-moment

*says a fact in a conversation and a wikipedia citation appears next to my head*

*clicks the citation*

*text pops up saying “this is not true. He saw this in a youtube video once in 2014 and took it as fact”. the words “youtube video” are underlined and in blue”

*clicks on the link*

Bitches out here roleplaying internet trolling

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