assigned chaotic neutral at birth

Any setting where the elves have weaker booze than the dwarves isn't committing to the bit

I mean, we're talking about people whose lifespan is Yes.

"Oh, the weak wine? That is for children. I am two thousand years old, and I daresay one sip from this highball would knock you on your ass for a week."

Look, there's this weird thing people do with high fantasy where they want elves to be immortal/extremely long-lived snooty aristocrats and also somehow incapacitated by imagining the taste of salt too hard. "Orcs and dwarves have the hardest booze" no they don't, they have work in the morning! In any of these settings, elves would pregame harder than hobbits party and everyone else has shit to do tomorrow.

The average high elf builds up the drug tolerance of a mid-70s Hollywood producer and then spends three centuries studying alchemy. While humans seek immortality, the Immortals seek the elusive "philosopher's cocaine."

Elf Fentanyl works exactly the way cops think human fentanyl does

you start watching dungeon meshi and you see how marcille acts and it's like "great... another show where the girl character is fussy and dramatic and easily grossed out compared to her male counterparts :///" and then you continue watching and meet other female characters who are not at all like that and it's like "ah, she's not like that because she's a girl, she's like that because she's italian"

idk what dm needs to hear this but you arent getting that done in a single session

being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sauté. but then there are also the horrors

with faith and perseverance, one day we will sauté the horrors

ID. Laios with a very intense expression but still smiling, with an edited-in tail of a speech bubble. end ID.

Community – 3.04: Remedial Chaos Theory

[ID: Troy picks up a pencil and looks through Annie’s purse. He says “Uh, guys? What does a pregnancy test look like?” Not looking up, Jeff says “Like a thin piece of plastic with a thing on the end of it.” Troy holds a gun from Annie’s purse upside down with the pencil and says “Okay, so this is definitely a gun.” /End ID]

We all got that one vassal who's read a few too many warrior tales... Trying to get a little freaky with it on the down low... Won't shut up about his loyalty unto death... Saying shit like "my liege, I am your blade...." Bitch I sent you to guard my isolated holdings in the eastern provinces for a reason!!!!!!! #REBLOG!!!!!

Chilchuck is on borrowed time until the heart attack gets him

ID. two panel comic. in the first panel, an enraged chilchuck yells "stop falling over, stop exposing your ass and bulge all the the fucking time!!" while crouched over senshi, pulling at his beard. senshi looks away and thinks "grocery list: 1. smoked paprika. 2. garlic powder." marcille watches impassively while laios has a loving moment with his sword. in the second panel, a close up of chilchuck's red face. his eyes are bloodshot and bulging, his teeth are gritted, and he's labeled "so horny he can barely function." in the background marcille thinks fondly, "aw, I've never seen chilchuck so concerned before. how cute." end ID.

love the word “rapscallion”. like not only are you a rascal but you’re also kind of spring onion about it too

My latest Guardian Books cartoon.

You know what. That chuck isnt chill at all

ID: four photos of a sculpture of a large rug in a museum. the rug is made of black and red matches standing on end, creating an intricate pattern. along the two long edges of the rug are small jumbled messes of matches, mimicing tassles. on one short edge, the rug pattern is unfinished, becoming a large drift of jumbled matches. toward one end of the rug, the tips have been cut off of some matches in the pattern of a shoe print, as if someone tracked mud onto the rug. in other places, small irregular patches of matches have the tips burned, mimicing stains and wear. end ID.

the boys cuddling next to marcille’s lifeless comatose body

quick yaoi break while marcille’s not looking

ID. manga frame of Laios, Chilchuck, and Senshi embracing with stars as they say "i don't want to lose you guys" and "aw you guys" while in the foreground marcille is laid out unconscious. a tumblr reply from quarter says "quick yaoi break". end ID.

in classic /derogatory) tumblr fashion the boop-o-meter isn't accessible. For screen reader users it just says the numbers, not what they represent. I'll just say in case anyone here uses a screen reader that the thing on top of your feed is the boop-o-meter, the first number is boops given by you, the second is boops received by you and the third is total boops on the platform

6’3 as a height is so unnecessary. Get down from there

bitches will say they got into clown college on their own merit and like their parents facepaints aren’t on eggshells in the lobby of the new library

the grind NEVER starts. i am sleeping

[ID: A transparent version of the promotional art Ryokō Kui drew for the Dungeon Meshi anime. End ID]

HELLO DUNGEON MESHIERS. how are we doing