there's an argument around the corner
& a nostalgic song behind me --
cornering a certain emotional memory
& I'm not quite sure how I feel about it --
so I decide to sit in it
until it starts to burn a little --
and then I just want a little more.
sometimes, hunger is the closest
you can get to having a meal.
An enemy birthright,
Unnurtered nature
& heavenly expectations.
.
Heads rearing ugly
Under bridle.
We groom our brides
& forget redemption.
.
The sum of parts,
Build on, ride on, marry.
Leave nothing behind.
.
Who is jealous for us?
Patient and angry,
Tables flipped in our name
& the weight of being named.
.
To curse a name
Or a cry of love;
Sunset or sunrise,
Nature shines through.
will you untie your sons?
will you unchoke your bride?
.
found, but without a name --
no tags, no shame, we abide
within a tension between truths
which we have named "God."
.
Redefining & Reunderstanding:
Redemption is (but)
Remembrance.
There's nowhere to go.
Spoiling for a way out;
Now what?
.
Ultimatums &
Parked car conversations:
Gaining sea legs.
.
We need the help
No one can give us
And we laugh at pain.
.
Keen myths of
Random selection:
Protection or distraction?
.
We find ourselves
In the lives we have --
Pulling at bootstraps.
.
The truth needs
Convincing.
We all need
A little convincing.
Ash in my water glass
And Noah's procrastinating
On his little ark.
Why do we choose to live
Where hurricanes try
To destroy us?
.
Past the point where
We decide it's easier
To ride out a storm:
Do we remember
If we ever hated the rain?
2018
The little flag of rebellion flutters lightly
From the far off winds of a storm
It knows nothing of.
The butterfly effect is a story given
To us by a God who knows
No act is only good or bad.
And heaven is a hope we hold to
In leiu of a sure knowledge that
What we do matters.
No island is a native
And never did a mountain
Crown itself.
.
Nothing ever stands
Without the means
Of everything
It might be made of.
.
In a heaven of equality,
No one would ever have a name.
In a world of value and beauty,
Everything must be shared.
as I stare off
trying to find a new
plane of thought,
I peripherally notice
at least three people
subconsciously prompted
to raise their heads --
their brains having seen
my upturned face --
and I wonder
if we have a duty of,
or obligation to,
connection -- or --
is it a secret hope,
a cry so primitive
that we dismiss it,
thinking it to be some
instinct so silly --
discrediting
our very own nature.
.
perhaps humanity is corporate
and individuality
is a statue, something made.
Incidental suffocations --
When self-fulfilling prophecies
Are given away;
Accidental weapons.
.
Consider it manslaughter
Of the first degree,
My own demise & my own hand --
Yet by your irreverent philosophies.
.
If I refuse to take,
To gerrymander,
Your default is a massive lie --
You'll get the ship
Because I was commander.
.
In so much that my steps
Are your gain,
I've no way, no lane.
.
To give is to give,
But to not give back
Is to only take away.
a solitary cemetery scale:
...wavering woeful weights &
......deliriously daring desires --
an impossible balance of biblical proportions.
.
grand galavanting goals:
...hypocritically high hopes &
......right and wrong realities --
a righteous chase of true romance.
I'm a sleeping disciple
worth a penny over two dollars --
I'm a half-baked idea
adorned in drugless guilt --
I'm a plant without roots,
planted, but forgotten --
I'm a weeping Jew
Who has no name for God --
I'm a grammatical error
on a well meaning protest sign --
I'm a lukewarm cup of coffee
existing in a purpose unfulfilled --
I'm a child of God,
adopted by myself --
I'm a horror story
I can't seem to put down --
I'm a miserable mistake machine
built by a deistic genius --
I'm a cold cup of water
for the poor and needy --
I am the poor and needy,
thirsty, thirsting, searching --
I'm as royal as anyone
and as low as nobody --
I'm everybody, I'm everyone --
(dear G--d!)
I'm no longer being undone,
I am being untied.
goodbyesummer | thankgod
North Carolina
2015
A day in the life of a bachelor.
South Carolina
2017
