where’s it’s friday like it fucking matters

Today is the only day you can reblog this meme, everyone

Happy 22/2/22 day!

Not to mention that today, 22/2/22 Pluto has finished its trip around the sun which started in 1774.

reblog if its friday and you made it

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.

“Slutantions” has me crying laughing

i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.

“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry

love,

blue”

the subject line was “OW”

THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”

As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.

On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”

Reblogging for the last addition

Claritin makes me weird, but I have allergies so there’s about a month and a half block of time where I’m taking Claritin and am just weird most of the time.

Anyway, my last year of college, I got the flu or something in late March and was also taking Mucinex. I told my professor I couldn’t come to class one day by email except I couldnt think of what to say, so my medicated ass decided to make a Fry meme. I think it said something like “Not sure if I can go to class with a head the size of Texas, bottom text.” I didn’t think until the next day that it probably wasn’t socially-acceptable to tell your philosophy professor you weren’t coming to class via Tumblr style memes. When i got back to class, i found that she’d printed it out and taped it to the classroom bulletin board.

Oh shit you guys i turned on my WinXP laptop that I used to use back then.

IT WAS ON THE DESKTOP. THIS IS WHAT I SENT.

It’s even worse than i remember it

Pride Month is just around the corner and-

Read this and save a life - YOUR OWN

From a surgical nurse and certified CPR teacher:

Please pause for 2 minutes and read this:

1. Let’s say it’s 7.25pm and you’re going home (alone of course) after an unusually hard day on the job.

2. You’re really tired, upset and frustrated.

3 Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to drag out into your arm and up in to your jaw. You are only about five km from the hospital nearest your home.

4. Unfortunately you don’t know if you’ll be able to make it that far.

5. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy who taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself.

6. HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE? Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness.

7. However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest. A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again.

8. Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can get to a hospital.

9. Tell as many other people as possible about this. It could save their lives!!

10. A cardiologist says If everyone who gets this mail kindly sends it to 10 people, you can bet that we’ll save at least one life.

11. Rather than sending jokes, please... contribute by forwarding this mail which can save a person’s life.

12. If this message comes around you... more than once… please don’t get irritated... You should instead, be happy that you have many friends who care about you & keeps reminding you how to deal with a Heart attack.

please take the time and boost this post by reposting it and sending it to those you love because we all need to understand how to quickly deal with heart attacks

as someone who has been having signs of a heart attack recently, i’m really glad i found this post

Boost!

Fact checking: Efficacy and limitations of cough CPR / Clarification on the difference between heart attack and cardiac arrest, and how that’s relevant to cough CPR

Boost!!

Hey, you. I... I couldn't help but notice you are having a rough day... May I offer you some snuggie rats in consolation?

Which of these wholesome Memes are your Favourite? :) 

Follow @memeuplift for more wholesome memes

Awww, I love the dog 🐕 🐶 and cat 🐱 ones the best 😃!

This is Money Marge. Reblog for a miracle of finances to come to you

x

*shouting over my shoulder* it’s the fucking chocolate guy again!!

fucking chocolate guy!!

!!!!!

My math teacher sent this to the math group chat (read d/m/y)

fucking superb

My brain went: it's not December ???

the only day to reblog this

Find them here: https://waronwant.org/McStrike-near-me 

#McStrike

It’s McDonald’s, it’s not supposed to be a high paying job

People deserve to make enough to live on. That’s not up for debate. This idea that some jobs aren’t “supposed to” pay enough for people to get their needs met is bullshit. Nobody should be living in poverty.

Yes, but it’s McDonald’s. It’s not meant to be a job to support a family, it’s mainly for support for teens or side jobs.

No, it’s not. 

There is no such thing as a job “for teens” (and even if there was, they deserve a fair wage for their labor, too.) Nobody should get paid so little that they need “side jobs.” 

If your business model relies on paying people a wage that keeps them trapped in poverty, your business should not continue to exist. McDonald’s can afford to pay their workers a better wage, they’re choosing not to. 

Funny story- I am a manager at a Mc Donald’s. Do you know? We have a set limit of minors- teenagers- we can employ. It’s barely over a dozen. Most locations open at 6am… guess what, on week days minors cannot work before they are out of school, or before 730am if they are out of school (GED and the like) also 730am on weekends. Minors cannot work after 10pm on weekdays, and after Midnight on weekends. My location closes at 11pm Sunday to Thursday, and 1am on Friday and Saturday. Because of labor laws here, they may not have more than 20 hours a week, and cannot work more than 5 hours in a single day.

So no. This is absolutely not a job just for teens. We have a giant compactor that crushes and crushes our trash. If you’re not 18 you’re not allowed to operate it. Anything sharp? Are you 18? Can’t touch it. Being a manger? Are you out of high school and at least 18? Forget it.

And honestly, I wouldn’t make any of the kids at my job deal with our customers when they’re going feral. Do you know how bat shit y’all are?? I had a woman start crying because we ran out of the Mc Rib and caused a scene in my drive-thru for 10 minutes. I’ve had old men cussing me out because Corp decided to bump a senior coffee from .99 to 1.09. Though if you sit inside, which they all do for well over two hours every morning… refills are free.

We have a lady here who we call “Princess Diamond” because she’s so fucking entitled she gave us a bad review on the McVoice because we served a homeless man and he sat to close to her… which was across the entire goddamn lobby. Would you really want a teen trying to deal with this woman??

I sure as shit don’t. I don’t allow her to deal with most of my Crew, actually. I’m as nice as freaking sugar in your tea to her face but if she gets rude I start slamming her order down on the tray. And as my Crew knows, the sweeter my voice gets the more trouble your in. She doesn’t stay long on days were I start getting aggressive with her food.

Side tracked- but no. We have so many things that need to be done all day long that we can’t legally let a minor do. A sister location was just fined over $5,000.00 because of labor violations pertaining to minors.

Just pay us so we can live. Please. A lot of these teens are trying to move out and get into apartments. But if an apartment costs 800.00 in rent and that’s usually one of the two checks a month an adult gets. Maybe. That’s a struggle even for myself, and it’s just my roommate, our dumb cat, and me. No children. He has a worse paying job.

We just want to be able to live.

This goes for any minimum wage job. 

The minimum wage, when it was set in 1938 as the United States was coming out of the Depression, was intended to be the minimum you needed to be able to pay your bills and raise a family on a single income. Not this bullshit we have today. It’s as low as it is because it hasn’t kept up with inflation.

Like, not only is working in fast food one of the hardest fucking jobs because it’s hot, it’s dangerous, and it’s full of the worst customers, but it’s also disrespected constantly, and people don’t think you deserve to be able to pay your bills. 

Fuck that. 

Pay workers enough to live on with a single full time job. 

Any business that can’t? Shouldn’t exist. 

If you don’t support raising minimum wage to a living wage, MAKE YOUR OWN FUCKING MCMUFFIN AT 6AM YOU CANCEROUS CHUDLUMP