a cycle
he is the man i love but we always end up repeating our fights. why is that? we end up having heated discussions about him doing too much around the house and me never doing enough. i find myself not having much time for myself esp working five days in a row and only have two days off... and i am expected to keep our bathrooms clean, wash & fold all of our laundry, and most importantly cook dinner for him once he gets home. this last part is loomed over my head -- constantly highlighting how inconsistently i do this. i am not a good cook. my time management in the kitchen is not as best compared to when i'm on the floor. my dishes end up losing flavor or fall lackluster as conveyed through his tired expressions when he devours very little of a dish i slaved away in prepping all night before and waking up (not being able to sleep in) to prepare around the time of his arrival. he says he always cooks us meals and always cooks me dinner while he's tired before i come home from work. he fine-tunes the dust-less house as he mops the first floor, cleans the windows, and vacuums all the rooms upstairs weekly. he does all the lawn care. he feels like he does the most around the house - not acknowledging all that i do? don't i help out too? am i never enough? i sobbed those words into my hands while my tears kept pouring in front of him. we manage to come to a compromise - him offering to take on more tasks and this time delegating deep cleaning the bathroom to a cleaning lady. as if on cue, my love language also being physical touch - i alwasy ask for a hug that he hesistantly returns. we go about our lives and continue to be in love with each other.
and then one little thing happens where i fail to do just one thing and the cycle continues.