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Sylvia Plath, from “Elm.”
l0st-and-f-a-d-i-n-g-deactivate
everything just keeps getting worse and I can’t take it anymore
im-secretly-falling-apart reblogged
““Maybe that’s worse, not letting ourselves be loved. Because we’re too afraid of giving ourselves to someone we might lose.” - Mitch Albom”
—
im-secretly-falling-apart reblogged
— Sylvia Plath
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― Jenny Slate, Little Weirds
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““Mama, should I settle down?” I asked my wise mother sitting before me. She glanced up in a panic and replied, “My dearest daughter, never settle down. Remain wild and free, do not make the same mistake I did.””
— an excerpt from a book i will never write #21||k.a.
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“i want a second opinion on the hole in my heart because everyone tells me to mend it myself but every time it beats it tears itself a new void”
— a.r.c. publish my last words.
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But we don’t know where did we lose it; or when. We thought we had it right inside our pockets but we don’t know when did we forget about this life we had so much plans to begin with.
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If a relationship was a flower, ours would have been a rose. It was very fragile, it needed the perfect conditions to thrive. So you and I worked together to help it bloom. And it did, you even put money into buying fertilizer which I helped you spread around our flower. It was beautiful, radiant, a flower that all those around would admire and envy. It wasn’t until something changed, did I notice the wilting of the petals of the roses. When I asked you about it, you said, “I like our flower but I don’t want to take care of it.” So our poor, poor flower so fragile was left in the dust by not you but me. Once I went back to visit to see what it had become and startlingly there was thorns and vines creeping out, almost as though you and I still gave it something. Almost as if we still we working together.
k.a.//our relationship was a rose//
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Love me now or let me go
- feel something
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— Me (JNH)// my poetry is a graveyard of memories
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“I knew I would love you the first moment I saw you, and I knew it would hurt.”
-Day 573
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i sent a lot of texts
that i wish i hadn't sent,
i returned a lot of calls
i wish never called again,
i spoke a lot of words
but they all came out abstruse,
I was fed a lot of lies
when i was hungry for the truth,
i gave people love
and they never had to ask,
i beg myself for some
but i never get it back.
- "i sent a lot of texts that i wish i hadn't sent"
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—Me (JNH)// it scares him, it consumes me
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I feel too small for the world tonight,
But that's okay.
Sometimes i like the thought of travelling the earth unnoticed.
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sometimes i feel more like a house than a person with the way i decorate my body and my face to hide damaged walls and empty spaces; my heart is more like a door with changed locks because i've made multiple keys for people who walked all over me with filthy shoes, people who said they could live here, but they were just passing through. i hope my eyes are not windows, because i fear what the world might see—all of my flaws and insecurities on display like a coffee table or some shoddy love seat. sometimes i swear i left the oven on and forgot because my mind feels like a smoke detector with the way my apprehension never calms. i smell smoke, but i can't see it; i'm told things are never as bad as i make them, but every wildfire starts with a spark and it's easy to burn when you're a house made of straw.
- "house made of straw"
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Sometimes.