the "strong job market" is a joke. i have a degree and 5 years experience and am getting interviews at which they inform me the offered rate is.....$19 an hour. it costs $1200 minimum a month for a shitty studio apartment, and all of the income-driven housing waitlists are closed and have been for years.
I’m chronically offline but Tumblr doesn’t count = I’m California sober.
Since Gandalf smokes weed and Radagast does shrooms, I have a theory that each of the wizards represents a drug. Saruman is cocaine.
realizing that i like people who talk a lot bc people talk about what they think about, and if they're talking about cool bands they like or eggs or whatever, they aren't thinking about how they're mad at me and i don't have to obsess about whether they are upset
watching the Thing and like
it’s a mound of flesh, right? and it keeps forming eyes capable of looking at you. and the longer you look at it, the more openings appear. and at first the openings are full of what looks like legs, which move aside to reveal a flower, which unfurls to reveal a fleshy orifice studded with teeth moving towards you with great power and longing.
and it’s like, the central tragedy is that none of these men know each other on a level intimate enough to see through the imitation. when keith david turns and asks them how they’re supposed to tell if he’s an imitation or not, none of them can honestly say that they know him well enough to test how deeply it runs; he may as well be a stranger to him. when baby slut kurt russell mentions that the long johns could be anybody’s, it means that he isn’t able to tell whose they are by taking a good long whiff of the crotch and armpits. the secret weapon that could have successfully circumvented the thing was the time these men should have spent intimately exploring each other’s bodies. I have a job interview tomorrow. I need to get this out of my system now.
having by now gotten the job for which I was interviewing, I think where I was going with this was that, the constantly moving shifting expanding de-categorizing of the Thing is its own horror vehicle by virtue of the fact that every other body in that film very much wants to be its own discrete category, unknowable and untouchable to the other bodies around it. and the more you look at the Thing, the more there is of it; the more openings it has, the more eyes it will form for which to see you, the more limbs it will form for which to touch and know you. and these men do not want to touch and see and know each other. they do not want the joyous erotic sound of each other's stevie wonder albums to enter their ears. they do not want the joint that touches their lips to touch the lips of another man. the first and only horror of the Thing is its drive to touch and know and queer the coherent category that is the human body. I will be washing dishes in the back of a bakery while blasting mongolian throat singing if anyone has any further questions.
in the google doc. straight up "writing it". and by "it", haha, well. let's justr say. Nothing
i got an esalen scholarship lol maybe a fancy rich people retreat will help me figure out what to do with my life
i'm wacked out on this verbal OCD shit. this is my life exactly. holy shit. holy shit. maybe i do need meds.
the way my partner talks about my ocd is so hilariously on point. for context, i experience a lot of verbal compulsions (feeling like i Have to Say a Certain Thing to magically fix another) and he just told me. "most of the time it's easy to spot a compulsion cause literally nobody asked"
i'll tell him that i want to watch a movie and then I'll specify out loud "you do not have to comply with my wish, but it was good to freely express it just as it is good for you to freely refute it" and he will look at me dead in the eye and say "who asked. compulsion". it's just brutal
unbelievable that its 4/20 and absolutely nobody has put the objectively best rage comic on my dash yet. i have to do everything around here
runner up
now that i am a real adult i am starting to realise. media lied to me about the availability of rooftops to go hang out on. every day i wish i could be hanging out on a rooftop somewhere looking cool as fuck
have a goo day
ima move to the beach for the next 7 years bc that's all the time there is left to enjoy the beach before climate change destroys the santa monica pier and all its friends