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East and West, the wanderlust...

@heavensarcher

Ava. Australia. She/her. This is a mess.  Remember when you'd sing, just for the fuck of it? Any joy it would bring? Honey, the look of it was as sweet as the sound.
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Ranking All Elden Ring Bosses by Fuckability

It was only a matter of time until I made a post like this.

In this hypothetical all of the bosses can be reasonably communicated with and are not actively trying to kill you.

Repeat bosses not included, duo bosses counted seperate.

It should also be assumed that all of these bosses have access to their magic/items/resources to benefit them in bed.

Explanation of Grading system:

  • Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)
  • These characters are not sentient enough to communicate consent, or are physically incapable of sex.
  • Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)
  • Character sucks so badly that they do not deserve to experience pleasure in any shape or form.
  • Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)
  • These character are fully capable of sex but would never participate in sex due to lack of interest or overabundance of moral convictions.
  • Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)
  • I mean, you COULD have sex with these characters but why would you?
  • Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)
  • These characters are average in bed, nothing crazy or noticeable. Some might end up in this category because they ARE good at sex, but the entire process would be inconvenient or uncomfortable to initiate.
  • Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)
  • These characters are good at sex, give or take a few points depending on their mood or situation.
  • Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)
  • These characters excel in giving pleasure and would be well worth the time and effort involved.
  • Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)
  • These characters would be so good at sex that all other factors are irrelevant. They are serving and we are here for it.
  • Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)
  • These are characters that should fall lower in the rankings, but their sexual prowess supersedes their inherent awfulness to a noteworthy degree.

Full list below the read more. Obviously it's not going to be sfw.

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There was that poll that was like what part of music makes you cry and tbh it’s a lot of parts of music but First Light by Hozier just hit that key change as he moves into that first bridge/chorus and my eyes just fucking went

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The burning question about "homesteading tradwive influencer vs. actual medieval farmwife" wouldn't be about who would win, but what would be the final straw that would make Kathrynn - who got married at 21, doesn't know what a chemical is, and who would have sent her children to school if she had had the chance - finally decide to beat the ever-loving shit out of Kathrynn, who got married at 21, doesn't understand what a chemical is and can't spell for shit, but still thinks she can homeschool her kids.

It wouldn't be over feminist issues. Medieval Kathrynn has no concept of "women's right to vote" - it's not like her husband has the right to vote in government matters either. It would probably be about religion. Medieval Kathrynn has no idea what "catholism" is, but she heard Modern Kathrynn talk shit about the saints and decides to toss aside the goat she was castrating and go "that's it, I'm beating your ass."

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elihearts

I'm pretty sure it would be vaccination, actually. Medieval Kathrynn would find out that there's an easy, safe way to keep the babies from dying of measles/mumps/smallpox and that Modern Kathrynn is CHOOSING TO NOT DO IT and would use the grave marker of her third child who passed from the pox as a bludgeon.

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The duality of "If you even imply that being aro or ace condemns someone to a sad and lonely life I will fucking fight you"

and

"being aro and ace is the most isolating thing I will ever experience"

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theprideful

i think the tags are important

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animentality

Guys, it's time to drop Google.

Google isn't the only search engine in the whole internet, there are others! And we need to diversify our search engine usage or we're gonna end up where we were a decade and change ago with the Internet Explorer issue. We can't let a single brand monopolize everything! This is why Google Search can afford to suck so hard: because people use it regardless! And there are alternatives.

A little bit about search engines, there are 3 types: crawlers, which work by scraping the web and developing their own indexes; metas, which get their results from the crawler-type search engines and therefore depend entirely upon them; and mixed, those which have their own (small) index but also pull results from the crawlers.

Right now, there are a couple of independant crawlers apart from Google, Bing (from Mycrosoft) and Yandex (the Russian one): this are Mojeek and Wiby.

Supporting independant crawlers is the easiest way to fight the shittyfication of the internet.

Mojeek.com is an independant british search engine with its own growing index commited to fighting internet censorship. It's small, and therefore it's usability isn't as good as that of the Big Three, but it doesn't censor, it's fairly respectful of people's privacy, and it doesn't drown you in adds. For those old enough to remember, it's a lot like early 2000s Google: you can find what you need, but if you write "dig shelter" instead of "dog shelter", that's what it's gonna search for. That said, please try to use it and support it as much as you can before we end up entirely dependant on Google, Bing and big corps adds. [click here to go to Mojeek]

Wiby.me is a new indie project that is literally dedicated to bringing back the old-school web. It's goal is to index as many personalized websites as possible, and NOT commercial sites. So, for those of you who can't find any answers to technical questions beyond highschool level because Google buries them under a gazillion commercial sites and other meaningless shit, keep an eye on this project! It has a lot of potential. And, if you know of any personal websites that have great stuff but have been murdered by Google, you can go over to Wiby and submit it to their index. [click here to go to Wiby]

Aside from those, there are also meta search engines you can use to ween yourself off Google and search for random, day to day stuff.

Qwant.com is my go-to here—it has its own index and pulls from Bing, has relatively little censorship, and is fairly private. This is the one I use on my phone for everyday stuff. [click here to go to Qwant].

Historically, DuckDuckGo has always been a go-to for those who want a search engine that respects your privacy and doesn't censor. Personally, I've never been a fan, and there have been a LOT of scandals in recent years. It supposedly has its own index and pulls from Bing, much like Qwant, but I don't know. I just don't like it. Still, I've added it here for completeness' sake.

If you have Firefox Mobile browser, you can set any of these search engines as your default search engine and you can also add the others as secondary search engines and switch quicky from the navigation bar. If you don't have firefox mobile though, what are you doing with your life??? Go get it!! It is So. Much. Better. You can have add blockers and watch YouTube add free, for free! You can have reader mode and dark mode add-ons! You can have the world oh my goshhhh, drop Chrome!!

4get.ca is my last recommendation: it works a lot like SearX, but honestly better. It doesn't have its own index, but pulls from many others. I think it's the best for reaserch, since it allows you to search for answers from different indexes, is easy to configure, add free, and avoids censorship as much as it can. It's also very privacy conscious, so that's an other plus, and it has that late 90s / early 2000s vibe that I totally dig. [click here to go to 4get]

If you wanna learn more about the topic, you can over to the Search Engine Map [click here] which shows you a bunch of Search Engines and how they relate to each other. Or you can also go over to this one dude's personal website whose done A Lot of reaserch into the topic (way more than me) and seems to be pretty legit, if a little extra. [click here to go to digdeeper.neocities.org] Hope this infodump is useful to someone =D

PS: here's to hoping all the links work!

EDIT: eliminated the "read more". Figured there are enough mega long posts in tumblr, one more won't make no difference lol (tho the version w the read more has been reblogged already, in case you'd rather)

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blue-corvid

Seconding Qwant. When I was using DuckDuckGo, I pretty frequently had to try Google instead because it just didn’t find anything useful; I’ve never had that problem with Qwant.

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This is a REALLY weird poll but I have to know if I'm the only one who gets very affected by music itself (not just the lyrics or because you like the artist or because a song reminds you of something sad) so...

pls reblog friends I'm so curious <3 <3 <3

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ashfae

All of the above.

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