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Hello!

@kawaii-jilli / kawaii-jilli.tumblr.com

Jillian - 18 -  Whatever I'm into right now. Not spoliers free!
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Once again Fox News is just unironically posting great policies as if they are spooky.

Socialism will win, folks.

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Worked on this girl for 9 months. Now this new music video comes out and she’s immensely popular, arguably one of the most popular characters in the LoL universe.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m really glad she’s a huge hit, it’s super exciting to see so many people love the character design and the gameplay, and know that I contributed directly and significantly to the behind-the-scenes engineering that makes it all work. It’s validating.

But it’s also so fucking melancholy to know I did so much work and put in so much time for such a shitty company, run by shitty people, and the reward I got for it was unemployment. 

I threw a lot into this character. I cried at work. I started getting panic attacks, which I’ve never gotten before. I developed persistent heart palpitations from the daily overwhelming stress and had to go to the hospital (this is true, seriously.) I basically dropped all my friends outside of work. My manager (and his manager!) lied to me constantly to keep me working. They said I was doing a great job but to keep it up. Don’t worry, it’s going to turn out great, and it’ll all be worth it in the end – recognition, a raise, probably a promotion in short order. They promised me the world. When she was finally finished, I didn’t even get to go to the release party, they just walked me out. 

I remember a quote from my last day, it sticks out in my mind: “I know you realize this is really hard for me,” my manager said. Yes, in the end, when he awkwardly informed me I didn’t have my dream job anymore – or any job at all – and then stared back at my shell-shocked face, my thousand-yard stare, the only thing he felt was sorry for himself.

She launched with no major bugs and was considered a technical success. Doesn’t matter. Get the fuck out.

I don’t know how I feel. A weird sensation of pride and intense bitterness. I did a good job; at least, I think I did. Unfortunately, internal validation is the only kind I’m going to get.

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hexcolour

Everyone reposting KDA should see this. Riot has successfully distracted everyone into forgetting their culture of sexism, exploitation, and toxicity mere months after it was all revealed.

Look, I get it. Akali is EXTREMELY my type. It’s obvious how much love and care was put into her development. But it makes me furious to see all the free advertising that Riot is getting from people who I thought would know better.  And now? One of the people who is arguably responsible for all that free advertising? Who’s work is undoubtedly making Riot hundreds of thousands of dollars a day? Who was overworked to the point of near breaking? They get nothing. WORSE than the scant bit of credit that most devs can get in a big company like Riot. They got let go.

Fuck Riot Games.

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maxofs2d

One thing that I thought really sucked a lot is that the production company who made the KDA video isn’t even credited. They credit a lot of other people on their videos, usually, but the actual animators of the video are hidden; almost a lie by omission. At best it’s a honest mistake, at worst it’s sneakily trying to pass off the video as something made in-house when it’s not. :(

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The older I get, the more I find heterosexual couples so…weird. It’s not that men and women are inherently different in irreconcilable ways, is that they’re socialized to believe they are, and it shows in how male/female couples interact. There is this awkward, unnecessary communication barrier between them based on their perceived gender differences. This obviously doesn’t apply to all heterosexual couples; I’m sure there are plenty with great communication and so on. But the large majority of the ones I’ve encountered in the past few years just don’t. It’s uncomfortable to watch.

They have all these weird notions about each other’s genders, and it’s so out of place for me. Like, women will let their husbands get away with not doing housework because “men are helpless” and men will talk about how their wives are “just hormonal” when they come to them with a legitimate grievance that needs to be talked about, and so on and so forth. Just a lot of back and forth that seems perfectly normal to them, but to an outsider who doesn’t experience this kind of heteronormative behavior often it’s like…

i’d like to share my hypothesis that this exact phenomenon is why straight writers struggle to write gay relationships (or project heteronormative constructs onto those relationships). they literally just don’t understand a relationship where one person doesn’t treat the other like they’re part of an alien species.

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yet again, incredible takes from Forbes

Who said the rich don’t need the poor to suffer in poverty so the rich get to exist in luxury……

Excuse me what the fuck is that headline

:) extreme poverty and death sure is convenient!!!!! - Forbes

The article is just as bad as the headline would indicate

“Socialism is bad because we can’t make unlimited profit through unethical exploitation.”

“Robber barons were good actually, they’re actually Compassionate for keeping you in abject poverty for their benefit by marginally making the Poor’s life slightly more efficient.”

“Cruelty isn’t letting people starve in the streets by the millions, true cruelty is a small handful of people not being obscenely wealthy.”

This is the “let them eat cake” of late capitalism.

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if this is real im fucking shouting

I Understand That Your House Is On Fire

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Does she fancy me?

Or is she just being friendly?

My favourite game

Update: she fancies me

Update: She’s my girlfriend

Update: We live together

Update: We just got our first house 🏡

Update: Here’s us with our first Christmas Tree

Update: Here’s a little doodle of us I had commissioned for her birthday

Update, we’re engaged

THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER

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