something about crowds singing in unison at concerts that leaves my entire existence awestruck. so ethereal. its the the most human thing ever.

anybody else just have the weirdest fucking relationship with the concept of god like. yes god is real. no i don't believe in him. the universe is on a prebuilt track and we cannot get off this ride. free will is an illusion. every decision you make changes every life you touch. there's no afterlife, only nonexistence. hell is real and i can list 10 people i know personally who are going there. god is in every tree and animal and blade of grass and person and every word that was spoken is spoken and will ever be spoken. when i die scatter my ashes where god can't reach me. god is a semi-permeable membrane. i am going to vandalize a church. y'know?

If we don’t microdose delusion we won’t make it through this reality babe….

Amina Cain, Indelicacy

Grandmas were so right about puzzles and knitting and crocheting and solitaire and reading slow and slippers and baking and watching deer in the backyard send post

Robert Jordan, Lord of Chaos

Langston Hughes (1902-1967), ‘Tired’, “New Masses”, Vol. 6, #9, Feb. 1931 Source

god is stored in the sunlight from the kitchen window

I think a lot about how we as a culture have turned “forever” into the only acceptable definition of success.

Like… if you open a coffee shop and run it for a while and it makes you happy but then stuff gets too expensive and stressful and you want to do something else so you close it, it’s a “failed” business. If you write a book or two, then decide that you don’t actually want to keep doing that, you’re a “failed” writer. If you marry someone, and that marriage is good for a while, and then stops working and you get divorced, it’s a “failed” marriage.

The only acceptable “win condition” is “you keep doing that thing forever”. A friendship that lasts for a few years but then its time is done and you move on is considered less valuable or not a “real” friendship. A hobby that you do for a while and then are done with is a “phase” - or, alternatively, a “pity” that you don’t do that thing any more. A fandom is “dying” because people have had a lot of fun with it but are now moving on to other things.

I just think that something can be good, and also end, and that thing was still good. And it’s okay to be sad that it ended, too. But the idea that anything that ends is automatically less than this hypothetical eternal state of success… I don’t think that’s doing us any good at all.

Iris grid. Cooley’s Gardens. 1975.

Internet Archive

Tony Hoagland, from “Peaceful Transition”, What Narcissism Means to Me

the meaning of life is….dipping carbs into liquids ….bread into soup…biscuits into tea…that’s it

i love bread so much. sometimes i feel like crying

you are not a machine. you are more like a garden. you need different things on different days. a little sun today, a little less water tomorrow. you have fallow and fruitful seasons. it is not a design flaw. it is wiser than perpetual sameness. what does your garden need today?