🙄😇🔔🕯🕯🕎💡📰📃📤📭📅🗝🔮🏹🕯📺📟📞☎😇🌛🌞☄🌈🔥😚📌📰😎🌛

Like to Charge, Reblog To Cast Spell…

It warms my heart that Robert Irwin is the same goofball his father was

chaotic dumbass

I knew something great was coming I just had no idea it would be that hilarious 10/10

The Stanley Parable is available for free right now if you’re looking for something to play.

Be unreasonably altruistic to one another.

Chaotic Neutrals do things just to raise some hell not for evil or for good but just because.

can’t tell if pain or laughter

if it was pain I bet he would have flinched even a little, but I don’t think that would hurt. Even coming off so fast, they’re not tight enough to make enough friction to hurt.

hmmm

YEET.

The most hilarious part of italians’ reaction to coronavirus/covid19 has been them stockpiling EVERY SINGLE type of pasta except the PENNE LISCE

which Italians couldn’t bring themselves to buy or eat even during a mass psychosis

The moment italians start buying penne lisce will be the moment we know our society has truly collapsed

Listen, if I'm gonna die, my last meal is NOT gonna be fucking penne lisce.

x

Someone explain please! I want to knowwww

Penne lische is smooth and doesn’t hold sauce the way penne rigate does

The grooves make more sauce adhere to it

wait that picture up there then ACTUALLY is of a smooth tube and not just. a bad picture? smooth penne exists? that's horrifying the ridges are the best part it's like eating a tiny accordion

And that is why it is an abomination.

Disgusting. Vile. I would die before eating that filth.

Things heating up in the pasta fandom Italian community.

But seriously, if alien PLANTS ever show up, citrus and oaks are going to be trying to breed with them IMMEDIATELY. 

We make fun of ourselves for being willing to fuck aliens, but I guarantee you that citrus and oaks are right there with us, aggressively trying to cross-pollinate with any new and interesting conquests. 

all this time, the real whores were the lemons, not the women who stole them 

i hate that the true crime community is filled with so many freaks who stan and woobify literal serial killers like. i wanna know about art heists. identity theft. forgery. money laundering. prison breaks. elaborate scams. spies. secret political deals. bank robberies. where is the pizzazz? the showmanship?? the originality??? all i get is racist white men going around killing people because they hate women and im TIRED

is he………you know…….*makes football throwing motion*….straight?

I dreamed that there was a Broadway musical made of Frankenstein, which was wildly popular and a huge success. Early in the first act, Victor had a song called ‘Wonderful!’ which was sort of a fast-forward of ‘I’m engaged to this wonderful girl, I’m attending this wonderful school, everything’s great, I’m going to create life’. It got a minor-key reprise in the second act, after the creature had killed Elizabeth and Victor was resolving to destroy him once and for all.

The reprise started out being all about worm facts and how wonderful worms were, and ended with Victor singing about how wonderful it was that they helped the process of decay by feasting on his fiancée, and how wonderful it would be when they devoured his misbegotten creation.

Everybody on this site was like ‘I know the reprise is supposed to show the rock bottom of Victor’s mental and emotional breakdown and all but…worms really are wonderful and I love this song’.

Ok first of all that is exactly how Tumblr would react and secondly I need that musical to exist immediately

let’s not forget the tacky patterns, too

oh yeah

oh fuck yeah

(TELL ME that last one isn’t a steampunk look. just try and tell me)

yes! thank you, these are EXACTLY what i meant. tomorrow I’ll take a picture of the bafflingly tacky goldenrod-and-maroon gown I’ve got at the shop

also

this is wise, and correct.

This is 100% true.

Oh no, no those are tasteful compared to what wild color shenanigans the 19th century got up to.  Most of them being mid-century are only ~2 colors excepting the plaid.  By the 1890s, five colors per dress was the fashion.  They…didn’t all coordinate the way we would.  

PUMPKIN WORTH

I have seen mid-century dresses in electric blue.  Barbie pink

Black with photo-realistic brocade oranges.  Royal purple with GIANT POLKA DOTS.

Hey hey did you know lime green and lavender was a favorite color combo in 1895?

This one is not so much tacky as…vibrant

Okay at ~1903 it’s not really Victorian but I love the melting ice cream explosion look of it

This dress has faded but it would have originally been a quite eye-catching shade of violet.

Not that past eras were any less fond of colors even if they weren’t artificial dyes.  I’ve seen canary yellow Regency dresses and an 18th century man’s coat in turquoise velvet printed with leopard spots.  Steampunk isn’t really Victorian so much as it is ‘drapery store vomited on a sexy colorblind school marm’

Et le piece de resistance…

Yes, those orange blocks are outlined in green chenille fringe.

brb, saving that green one to my ‘Malfoy estate sale’ pinterest board

Steampunk isn’t really Victorian so much as it is ‘drapery store vomited on a sexy colorblind school marm’

don’t get me STARTED on Victorian love of color in fashion…here are some of my favorites I’ve saved (some actual dresses and some from fashion prints):

I’d also like people to remember that in the 1860s the Garibaldi shirt (the precursor to the modern blouse) was a very popular look and involved wearing a bright red blouse often with a black or dark patterned skirt but the top was usually a glaring red with little black/white/gold trim

Reblog in 10 seconds and $1700 will come your way

I have nothing to lose and 1700$ to gain

I want both a cat and $1700

Oh wow! I had no idea this is sickening.

OMG. I literally just learned this.

have you guys ever noticed how pretty the bi flag is???

Like, look at it

It looks like a sunset

just

#the sky is bi confirmed

You wanna get people to hate you? Just claim the whole fucking sky belongs to your favorite kink.

the sky belongs to bisexuals now sorry str8s

I have legal rights on the sky purely because you called my sexuality a “kink” you piece of shit. You’re legally not allowed to look at the sky any more. Fuck you.

When you reject religion but keep all the shitty politics associated with it.

“Racial realist”

racial + realist = racist.

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AFSHEBENRM

that bot just ENDED ThEM

so much for the first law of robotics