i’m going to kdxjdhdjhddjjdhs

TWO??? Having a private jet at all is bad enough on its own but why the fuck does she need two of them???

Something I always find bizarre is when people mention something along the lines of "You always act like your opinions are correct and everyone else is wrong" as like. A moral or personal flaw. Because like. I'm pretty sure that's just how opinions work.

No one goes through life like "man my opinions are SO wrong". No dipshit everyone thinks their opinions are the correct ones otherwise they wouldn't hold those opinions idiot.

Just checking.... We all pronounce Miette like My-TAY in our heads, right?

well it’s french. so neither of those are remotely close. that poor cat. you butcher miette’s name. 20 years jail.

So we all know that Tumblr is US-centric. But to what degree? (and can we skew the results of this poll by posting it at a time where they should be asleep?)

Reblog to increase sample size!

we still get immediately shoved out of our immersion in tv shows or films when The Girl find a dead body and immediately shrieks - we just don't find it realistic because we're pretty confident most people would gasp rather than shriek (i.e. sharp inhale rather than sharp exhale) and it also feels unnecessarily (and predictably) misogynistic too, as men encountering corpses almost never do the same on screen

also of course please do tell us if you've actually encountered a corpse unexpectedly, because tumblr is absolutely a place where some people have done this thing and we love a good anecdote

suddenly imagining "burst into song" as a potential response

What is the highest number of notes on a post you have made? What's your most "successful" post?

"are you wearing the-"

the snoots? yeah i am

Hi stephanie,

I hope this email finds you, as the search and rescue team is otherwise completely out of ideas

this changed it all

I am BEGGING professional sports to consolidate their games into one convienent place to watch.

I do not want to get Amazon Prime for Monday games and then TNT for a Wednesday. Ope now it's Friday so let's head over to ESPN. BUT NOW it's the 3rd Thursday of the month and it rained on the 8th of the month so this broadcast will be on CSPAN instead of Cartoon Network with a special rebroadcast on Disney Channel with the game being played by the cast of Avatar: The Last Airbender.

It's legit insanity and this is the exact reason I will continue to sail the seven seas. Get fucked.

not only that but it's a really well maintained flat dirt road. My power wheelchair could take that road.

For the record, this road looks nicer and better maintained than the road that my parents' house is on.

"off road"

*posts picture of being on a road*

Sir, do you know what a road is? Sir?

Grabbing people by their shoulders and shaking them until they can prove to me they know what "twink" means

I was listening to a bunch of LGBT+ ppl from Louisiana as a guest for a podcast and the topic of "twink" came up and they more or less were like, "yeah nowadays cishet ppl know saying 'f*g' raises eyebrows so they just say 'twink' when they want to say 'f*g' but it's obvious what they want to say when they say the word," and like, that's basically it, right. Also they talked about lubed up jockstrap wrestling at a gay bar and how there was a cishet guy that participated because he just wanted to wrestle.

Nodding thoughtfully at this until you say "lubed up jockstrap wrestling" at which point I get so horny I think I hauve Covid

*grabs both your hands in gesture of sincerity*

Don't let this die. Taylor Swift is the Pollution Queen now. We need meme edits with her photoshopped onto backgrounds of wildfire-ravaged landscapes and oil refineries chugging out black smoke.

Photo of smudgy black eye shadow? That's THE Taylor Swift-inspired look now, it represents fossil fuels.

We need parodies of Taylor Swift songs about pollution and killing polar bears.

Give her representatives a full-time job for the rest of their lives defending her from the phrase "Pollution Queen." Make this meme a the figurehead of an entire fleet of other celebrity-terrorizing memes.

"But this doesn't dismantle the system that—" Shut. Don't care. Isn't it great that such a huge portion of environmental damage is being done by human individuals with egos, whose feelings can be hurt when people are mean?

Money can save you from physical harm, but can it save you from looking ridiculous?

Like this

Yes, these Muppets have taken Manhattan. The question now is can they HOLD it