great vegetables

@howlingwraiths / howlingwraiths.tumblr.com

previously okumurasharu
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Everyone always admires SCP for the horror. But NOBODY talks about how genuinely funny some of them are (and no, I’m not counting J’s):

  • The box that is entirely designed to piss off the nearest person in the vicinity in an extremely specific and personalized manner
  • The pills that were intended to give whoever swallowed them radiation poisoning, but instead make them explode with bananas
  • The roll of infinite toilet paper that abides by the laws of conservation of energy, thus causing nuclear explosions if too much or too little is used
  • The tub and water who each have their own respective personalities and constantly argue about communism vs. capitalism
  • The tomatoes that throw themselves at you at a speed relative to how terrible you joke is
  • A coffee machine with a keypad that dispenses (almost) any liquid
  • A guy that is constantly lost, can’t be tracked, and anyone who finds him gets lost with him
  • A statue who moves when you stop looking at it, but instead of snapping your neck, it just tries to startle you
  • Three words: The Nerfing Gun
  • A Wendy’s with a haunted bottomless freezer that sometimes plays Frank Sinatra
  • A bag of inifinite potatoes
  • I am a toaster
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we should abandon the current US government system and replace it with the ranking system in warrior cats don’t @ me

just saying that obamastar is way cooler than trumpstar

also what the hell are kits then

babies. duh

Are you telling me kids are going to be apprentices for like twelve fuckin years,,,, thats 24 times as long,,,,

yes. 12 years: 1st grade to 12th grade, american school system. ive thought this through

And what the h*ck is the medicine cat

you guys are really not thinking this through huh it’s a fucking doctor you degenerate

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voidedmuffin

wait. what are cats then

…theyre still cats what the fuck are you on

do we actually hunt for food or do we go grocery shopping and call it hunting

i said the ranking system guys not their lifestyle im going to lose it

the fuck is a warrior cat

someone’s going to die today and it sure as fuck is not going to be me

Would the time zones become the clans or would it just be randomly assigned

it’s the ranking system. the leader is the president. it’s one clan. we’re one clan can’t you fucking read i’m this close to bursting into tears

ok but what about other countries? would there be americaclan and canadaclan and stuff?

it does say US government system on the original post. you saw that, right? you read the post? the US? just america?

wait does that mean the president rules until someone else comes along and wrecks their shit?

i mean, yeah. until that motherfucker dies he’s leader, that’s how wc works. kill your leader, start a riot & shut the fuck up im so stressed

I, for one, do not think trump should get nine lives

neither should tigerstar but guess what

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firefly464

Isn’t this just a monarchy? Or a dictatorship?

it’s the warrior cats ranking style that’s what it is

hey @tophat-octopus trying to hide this stupid question in the tags. what do you think a vice president is

what are two legs considered?

youre just like the guy who asked what cats would be. twolegs are people we just wouldn’t use that term??? im

probably a dumb question but what about rogues and loners

rogues arent even a part of the clan ranking system i do not think i can handle this thread much longer

what about other government officials? are they just warriors? or would they not exist??

thEYRE WARRIORS. THEY DONT EXIST I CANNOT DO THSI ANYMORE

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puddlewing

why the fuck is firefox tweeting abt warrior cats

tweeting? i’m tweeting? tweeting? this is Twitter? huh? is this fucking Twitter?

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iraprince

weird little brain tweak/reframing that helped me out. i Often find that advice that seemingly helps Everyone Else doesn’t make any sense to me, in ways that are hard to describe, and it can be really frustrating. but when i find a way to explain it to myself that finally seems to break through and make it click, it feels really good

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