you are in love.

I think my favorite bit i do with customers is when white women are like ‘i dont know what to getttttt’ and i hit them with the ‘you should be bad~ 😈’

Immortal demonarry

Fkksjfjfjdjkdjdjs dfmf

there is literally nothing worse than accidentally eating a really soft grape

MAYBE EXCEPT YOU WHOLE FAMILY BEING MURDERED IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE

have you ever eaten a soft grape

Animals don’t understand the concept of an accident. Your dog thinks you got out of the bed in the middle of the night just to kick him in the head.

This is a lie animals DO understand the concept of accidents especially social animals which is essentially all domestic animals. For example when dogs play-fight they often accidentally play too rough. When this happens the hurt dog will yelp! Both dogs stop playing, and the offending dog often performs submissive gestures (rolling over, licking, nuzzling softly) to show that they are sorry and they didn’t mean to be aggressive, and they were not trying to show dominance. After a few moments they’ll start playing again! So, if you accidentally step on your dog’s paw, and then you make a big show of saying sorry (petting, holding the dog, making soft sounds) your dog understands! They know you didn’t mean it. On top of that many animals have been shown to have varying levels of human language comprehension, so it’s not impossible that your dog ACTUALLY knows what the word Sorry means!

I ride horses and I’ve been in a few wrecks. They absolutely understand the concept of an accident. You can absolutely tell when a horse dropped you by accident as opposed to on purpose by their reactions right afterwards. On purpose gets a “haha got you” reaction.

By accident gets “Ack, are you OKAY?” Sometimes they won’t let you back up until they’ve checked you over with their snoot.

(I apologize to horses all the time, every time I mess up the exercise and I know it’s my fault, they get reassurance and an apology because horses are basically huge anxiety bundles with hooves and like to know that you aren’t blaming them for it).

First time I ever fell off a horse it was actually the horse that fell. He was completely fine (Welsh cobs are built tough) but he got up and stood over me and muzzled at me to see if I was alright, and wouldn’t leave until I got up as well.

By contrast he threw me a few months later by using the old drop-a-shoulder-and-spin trick, and the moment I bounced he ran off to the other end of the arena in high spirits.

He was great, loved that horse

you ever have a

moment with an entire fandom's perception of a character

i hope this one breaches containment. i want to see your blorbo tags. they are welcomed and encouraged

its 3am. i feel very sick from eating four kit kats in one day. and weird al is on back at the barnyard.

happy bday to niall, and to my favorite twitter interaction of all time

I am super against light pollution, and have been for decades

but I am also super annoyed by the way it's framed as "without light pollution you can see how beautiful the night sky is" way more prominently than it's framed as "hey, did you ever stop to think of how much energy/resources/money are literally wasted by having so much light shine up into the sky?"

so people get the idea that light pollution can only be remedied by eliminating all night-time light, which would make being outside at night very inconvenient, instead of by making night-time light shine only on the ground where, y'know, the people who need it are

The mildest example of what OP's talking about in Dunedin, Aotearoa:

This is just with the streetlamp equivalent of using lampshades. Imagine what truly directional city lights could achieve?

Harry deserved to punch dumbeldore in the face at least once

losing my mind at how the opening line “when i wake up, the other side of the bed is cold. my fingers stretch out, seeking prim’s warmth but finding only the rough canvas cover of the mattress” immediately sets up the hunger games story to be pyrrhic if not outright tragic. (SPOILERS!!) line one establishes katniss’s only goal is to protect prim and in line one she’s already too late. she puts herself in harm’s way over and over, kills people, goes to war and brings down the entire world government all for her love for prim, who was doomed from the start. the love didnt save anyone but it was there etc the shire has been saved but not for me etc etc

me forcing myself to do things that make me feel better

my friend who works in theatre just pointed out to me that WICKED is still showing tonight and the first line of that musical is "GOOD NEWS! SHE'S DEAD!" i really don't know how they're gonna work around that one

the cast of WICKED after holding a minute's silence and then immediately launching into the opening number: