Maanantai mood
me, every Overwatch event:
reasons why I would make a great Greek God
- petty
- dramatic
- Not Straight
- doesn’t really moralize
- would live on top of a perfectly climbable mountain and only descend to seduce pretty girls and mess with stuff
- titties already tf out
Gamers also get this shit, anyone wanna involve them?
and people say gamers aren’t oppressed…
« Iron Bull ».
« - I think you finally decided whether you care about your people or your people. - Hmm… something like that. - You made the right choice. »
TSA text messages I’ve sent part 3
Aries: Oh BTW I’m taking Katelin to court tomorrow and you’ll be my wintess. We’ll be accusing her of murder
Taurus: Richard and I were having an affair and I needed a way to get rid of the bagel. There. That’s the truth.
Gemini: I’m building a panic room in my basement. It’s gonna be fun. Oh update on my beard: It swallowed a small child yesterday
Cancer: You’re scaring me, soup lady
Leo: Ok cool story I was about to sneeze and I was putting my elbow up to my face to cover it but then I fucked up and accidentally punched my jaw and now I don’t have to sneeze
Virgo: Stop sending me memes at 8:40 at night daughter you’re ruining this family
Libra: Dude the guy who was telling about this one girl who found out she was getting cheated on so she took the guys ring and put it in a clamp vice and smashed it and I was next to Katelin so I told her that if a guy ever cheated on me I would do the same thing with his dick and everyone in the row stared at me
Scorpio: THEY WEREN’T GAY (maybe)
Sagittarius: Attention bitch I’m starting up a mafia business and I’m the boss. Who wants to be my lil mini me?
Capricorn: There was only ONE screaming pile of baby there: you
Aquarius: Whatever is in Pikachu’s pants doesn’t determine shit boi
Pisces: Do you want my spicy soup
friendly reminder that if i have ever befriended you and have not spoken to you in a while it’s nothing you’ve done wrong it’s just because i’m a piece of shit at keeping in contact with people and i still love you okay good
Canon: and so they never met
Fanfic: here’s a funny story
Canon: There was tension and pining, but they never even kissed.
Fanfic: Actually,
Canon: Torture the cinnamon roll.
Fanfic: Torture the cinnamon roll.
Canon: When they traveled they stayed in separate rooms
Fanfic: AND. THERE. WAS. ONLY. ONE. BED!!!!!
Canon: … and they were roommates.
Fanfic: oh my god, they were roommates…
Canon: They were international assassins who assassinated assassins.
Fanfic: But hot DAMN wait till you hear about this cafe they opened
Canon: They had a coffeeshop
Fanfic: but they were ASSASSINS
Canon: they were mortal enemies and attempted to murder each other on multiple occasions
Fanfic: bUT THEY GOT MARRIED AND ADOPTED CHILDREN
Everytime I reblog this has a new addition and it’s the best
Canon: They were straight
Fanfic: Lol
THE LAST ONE IS THE BEST ONE
me laying in bed on my phone, needing to pee for the past half hour and my phone on 2%
Me, letting my mutuals know they’re valid
someone: *mentions my favorite character*
me: *vibrating at frequency that shatters glass* yeah I love them a normal amount