benevolent vandal

I keep forgetting to pin my posts, but also my inventory keeps getting bigger as I do more projects.

Information on @thesweeneytarot can be found at that link. Here is where the 10th Anniversary Edition can be bought. For those on a budget, here is where you can find the original- which comes in a less sturdy box and is made of less durable materials. The guide is available via that tumblr blog, but there is a print version available here.

Then there's @the-motif-deck, which is a bit more ambitious- a system that I came up with based on the way that I've read cards for the past decade. The cards do not have any inherent meaning, meaning is assigned by the reader (and sometimes the querent.) It can be purchased here. There is no guide book for this deck.

Speaking of books, here's a link to my books! There are some older pieces there that I am proud to say I've improved from, but if you like urban and modern fantasy/horror, those are some fun ones. Most current works are going to be the books about dirt: Good Clean Dirt and Damn Good Party, which are about being a local cryptid for fun and profit, and how to REALLY mess up someone's wedding with magic powers. I'm working on part 3.

Also, here's a little coloring book about flowers and their meanings that sounds like it fell through a hole in the universe, which I made because I found an article in a bridal mag that clearly didn't do any research so I was like... 'hmm... I think I should make one that's even wronger out of spite.'

More in coloring books: Here's some unsorted coloring pages that also look like they fell through a hole in the universe. I was intending on making another coloring book, but I lost the momentum on the project and now its 'pay what you want' with a $1 minimum.

I also just uploaded the Wild Westerville coloring pages as well. Same price, but the animals are real ones this time. Physical book is available on Mixam.

While you're there, you can also just make a donation if you feel like it.

There is also my Etsy, where you can buy some cool embroidered patches.

There is also my Redbubble, which has a ton of designs that I've done for the past like... ten years. If you saw me playing with the moth scarves for halloween, that's where those come from. You can also find prints of my nature drawings there.

Uhhhhh... I think that's it? There's probably more. I'm always forgetting something.

I have been making vague plan to open my own photo studio for a few years now.

But unfortunately, there is doubt.

I know how to run a little bit of a business, but an industry with clients is somewhat different from doing craft shows.

And an actual studio, at an actual location, is expensive. Like it doubled in 2 years.

I will absolutely need to do research this summer.

Aaaaand cue the flower shop wanting to ask me back because they saw me complaining about work on Facebook.

I will be normal about this eventually.

Maybe tomorrow.

But like... feeling like you live in a different universe than everyone else really makes it difficult to keep a job. And I'm very close to that feeling of like... maybe I should just... make my own job? But that also requires you to live in the same world as other people because the business people live there.

And starting a new thing is scary.

I knew it was working its way through, but I hadn't seen anything about it since initially hearing about it.

...thinking about that sports dough.

I don't mean to dwell. But I am second-guessing my identity here. Because I always thought that I was nice and friendly and to my recollection I have always tried to be. Like I always start out kind and maybe lose that kindness a little when the day wears on and I end up dealing with a lot of problems. But I always start out the day with an attempt at a positive attitude.

And its like... well? Maybe I'm not actually nice? Maybe I'm actually really mean ?