I must be destined for a life of being ignored. Even my parents ignore me. I thought this would change, but I’m 21 and this has been happening for years. I’m tired of it. It bothers me more and more every day. I only have myself. And that gets really lonely. I feel stupid for caring, but I feel so so so alone.
I still have no one to go to and I don’t know if that’s my fault or the world’s
I don’t know what I’m doing and i want to talk to someone but no one understands. I don’t even know what to say because I’ve never felt like this. I feel a empty but also in pain at the same time.
I’m sick of hearing “I’m sorry” and other empty words like that.
No one told me how to deal with grief. I can’t breathe. Everything hurts. And I feel so lost. There’s no one to go to and nowhere to go. I feel trapped and stuck in a world too big at the same time. I can’t be happy and I can’t be sad. My energy is depleting. I want to talk about it, but I don’t. I feel too much and too little. I’m everywhere and nowhere. I don’t know what to think, say, feel, or do.
Autumnal Cafe @autumnalpress
Pipers Chapel, Portland, Tennessee. Photo by Jonathan Ross
The clock: 10:33 AM
My ADHD ass: Shit. It’s almost 11 AM. Which means it’s almost 12 PM. Which means it’s practically 3:00 in the afternoon. Where has the day gone??? Guess nothing got done today……