Finding Nemo would have ended a lot differently if Marlin was played by Liam Neeson.

The amount of students who ended up in the hospital wing in Hogwarts because they tried to magically enlarge their penis must’ve been daunting.

Cats Behind Famous Movie Posters, And The Result Is Purrfect

Bad idea for a Romantic Comedy The Chief of Police is married to a Mob Boss, and they have to keep “just failing” to catch each other. When one of them hits the other in a shootout, it’s followed with “Oh I’m never going to hear the end of this…”

“So how was your day at work?” “YOU FUCKING SHOT ME! THAT WAS MY DAY AT WORK!”

We clearly have different definitions of bad.

PSA: journalists aren’t supposed to put names in the headlines if the person isn’t a public figure. It’s not a matter of maliciously not giving credit

^^^as a journalist, this is something that bothers me ALL THE TIME

A friend of mine on Twitter explained this the other day, so to elaborate based on what she said: If the name is not instantly recognizable the way a public figure is, then putting the name in the headline isn’t going to bring about any sort of recognition or connection in the reader, and doesn’t do much to draw the reader into the story. But something like “local teen” does create a connection by tying the person into the community, and encourages the reader to learn more about what this local teen has done. The name will be in the article itself, after the headline has done its job at getting the reader to look into it.

It’s worth noting too that usually, according to the Inverted Pyramid writing style used for journalism where the most important information is shared first, the person’s name is usually in the first sentence of the first paragraph.

Whenever I see someone get up at arms over a headline that says “Local Teen” and the first comment is “SAY THEIR NAME” I’m always like “hey, thanks for telling every journalist present that you don’t read articles and just skim headlines.” Really makes us feel appreciated.

I think this Onion headline illustrates the point pretty well

I made this instead of writing

I’m very strong, I could fight off maybe 20 snails, 21 on a good day

I really want Hillary to just say “Donald how does a bill get passed” and just wait for his response

We all know how a bill gets passed. There are some great bills. Beautiful bills. Unbelievable bills.

Will you pass bills, they ask me. I will pass some bills. Some of the best bills.

Hillary will never pass bills. She’s never passed any bills. I will pass them. I’ll pass so many bills it’ll be yuge. Hillary passed some of the worst bills. Worst bills ever. Unbelievable. She’s married to Bill Clinton.

(ha) (ha) (I’m) (falling) (for) (someone) (I) (can’t) (have)

So if we FOIL this out we have

*cracks knuckles*

hahahaI’mhafallinghaforhasomeonehaIhacan’thahavehaI’mhafallinghaforhasomeonehaIhacan’thahaveI’mfallingI’mforI’msomeoneI’mII’mcan’tI’mhavefallingforfallingsomeonefallingIfallingcan’tfallinghaveforsomeoneforIforIforcan’tforhavesomeoneIsomeonecan’tsomeonehaveIcan’tIhavecan’thave

oh my fucking god