So the banner ad didn’t scale down for the mobile browser and it took me multiple minutes to realize that this stock photo of people in business suits was not, in fact, an illustration of what oathbreaker paladins in service to an evil power are supposed to look like

why are screenshots of tiktoks always funnier than the actual video

Because they could have been text posts

when he first started dating he was sick a lot, and told me about a family legend that they were cursed with stomach problems because his ancestor was a samurai who had failed to commit sepukku, and now they all needed to experience the pain that he should have

and then one day we were having dinner and I was like. hey. are you not chewing your fucking food

and then I met his family. and they all just unhinge their jaws like snakes. horking shit down like wide-eyed seagulls at the beach

anyway he mostly chews his food now and the ancestral samurai's curse has left him

correlation is not causation

"most of tumblr doesn't smoke, take drugs or have tattoos" most people in real life as well

op why would you leave this in the notes

making fun of americans is pretty much always ok if youre not doing it in an edgelord “you guys have so many school shootings” way or acting like we’re the only country that has racism. but like posts about americans and hamburger get me every time

This is just objectively hilarious

you know, Kate Elliott, I bet I can guess exactly what his scream sounded like

happy mother’s day to that mom who sold y/n to one direction

bob woke up and chose violence on this day

the sequel tho

Whatever floats your stoat

He swim

Anyone who thinks Jesus would be picking a political side if he showed up today has forgotten that his core followers included an anti-Rome zealot and a guy who was until then a tax collector for said Roman rulers. And he expected them to play nice and work together.

The tax collector repented of his corruption and paid back what he stole. The zealot was told to pay his due taxes. The Roman centurion was to stop worshipping Roman gods and idols.

Yes, Jesus wants His followers to be unified. No, He would not pick a political "side". Jesus would not vote for Trump. Jesus would not vote. Jesus is King.

Jesus would've offended everyone on the political spectrum at once.

Lol, heck yes.

Also, the irony is that everyone WANTED him to pick a side, and expected him to be a political force that would save Israel that way. But he came specifically to NOT pick a side, because that's not what mattered. He knew politics would have him operating on too small a scale when he was fighting a battle that would have eternal consequences.

People wanting him to be a political figure fall into the same (misguided) mindset that the disciples had at first, and miss the point entirely.

In a somewhat similar vein, this is why Catholic clergy are not allowed to run for office.

grabs your hand. you've had enough plot and exposition and character development lately im taking you to the beach episode

Halo  -  Mia Bergeron , 2021.

American, b. 1979  -  

Oil and wax on panel ,   10 x 8 in   25.40 x 20.32 cm.

As chair of the wizard- [PARRIES A SPELL] As chair of the wizard counc- [PARRIES A DIFFERENT SPELL] As chair of the wizard council, I- [PARRIES A DIFFERENT SPELL] As chair of the wizard council I think staffs should be illegal during these meetings.

oh i thought this was the staff meeting