If celery is 90% water, is the ocean 10% celery?

*passive aggressive mom dramatically putting away dishes and denying help*

Mom, are you sure you don’t want any help?

no I don’t need any help I can do it all by myself just like I do everything in this house, by myself…..

how many “take me to the museum and make out with me” posts can y’all make like damn you’re horny and pretentious we get it

would not be surprised if the CIA wanted to recruit me.  I have medium knowledge of memes, know how to use calculator, and have broad shoulders.  the three most important CIA skills

me: *strains eyes for wedding ring on hand of hot older guy*

how gross would it be if girls pooped

Oh my god you guys.

4chan raids tumblr

i just laughed so hard water flew out my nose