olivia

imagine having a brain that works. what a concept

Labourjoisie 2019 couture collection

Fuck it I Love You & The Greatest (2019) dir. Chuck Grant & Rich Lee

I’m facing the greatest The greatest loss of them all The culture is lit and I had a ball I guess I’m signing off after all

queen bodyposipanda being a total icon

me: *starts dissociating*

me @ me: why are we dissociating nothing bad even happened yet

No, you don’t understand. People with BPD notice everything. We notice when you don’t smile as wide at us one morning. We notice when you don’t hug as tight. When you don’t sound quite as happy when speaking to us. When you look the slightest bit uninterested in what we’re saying.

And when you talk to someone else. When you talk to someone else and look like you’re enjoying yourself, we assume that you’d rather be with them all of the time. So we leave before you can confirm or deny that.

And if you start telling us about a fun time you had with someone else it will not end well. We might be too shy to speak up about it, but it’ll still eat away at us. We’ll feel abandoned. 

And “You should have been there!” is the absolute worst thing to say. We know we should have been there. We want to have been there. We know you had fun and we’re happy that you did, but the sadness of feeling abandoned completely obliterates that. So don’t rub it in.

Instead, say, “Yeah, we had fun, but I’m glad I’m here now” or, “… that you’re here now”. It really makes us feel loved and appreciated. 

I know this barely scratches the surface of what we feel on a daily basis, but I hope this can help those who don’t know.

Thank you for coming to my TedTalk.

One of the most distressing thoughts looking back on my history of undiagnosed mental illness is the amount of times I would confide in a trusted adult/mentor/teacher/parent about how empty I was feeling or how I cried uncontrollably at night and I would get replies like “you’re just tired” or even memorably “it’s probably God working through you to help you understand how non Christians feel”.

This is absolutely disgusting. Not one of the people who all the “#mental illness prevention” ads said would help actually helped. All the signs were there, I tried to reach out, I did what everyone tells you to do. I went to power figures in my life and it didn’t do jack shit. We can’t keep putting the onus on kids to fix their own mental health when not a single piece of society around them is able to recognize or accommodate mental illness symptoms. A better mental health climate starts and has always started with the adults and what social safety nets we set up.

if you are reading this you are not in a coma, you are not dead or dreaming. your life is not a lie, your relationships are not a lie, your memories are not a lie. you are not a hallucination or glitch.

you exist.

you are alive. 

the world around you exists and keeps turning.

if you can’t trust all of your senses pick one right now you consider the most reliable and stimulate that. for me this is touch and smell. splash water on yourself. eat something comforting. smell dirt outside. play your favourite song on repeat. stare at one panel of a comic book for a long time.

this world is real and so are you. you are real. so take care of yourself. 

Ok so this seriously hit home with me and kinda startled me. Thank you.

gah thank you this is so helpful for people who dissociate regularly/have varying psychoses 

gaslighting (via xxkindapointlessxx)

Grunge is dead

🌟