Yes I re-read my own fics because I wrote them for ME

Wish that bitch would update though.

the only right timeline

Dungeon Meshi - Laios & Falin

Bilbo barely passed Old Took's record lifespan after having a supernaturally-life-extending ring for 60 years. which begs a question. what the hell did Old Took do

I have a theory that somewhere back up the line gandalf fucked a took. This sounds like complete crack but hear me out. The tooks are rumored to have “fairy blood” which in LOTR terms means either elves or maia. There is an ancestor who’s unusually tall and many of them are noted to live unusually long lives unless they meet with illness or injury, same as the numenorians did. They don’t hve extra pointy ears and elves don’t have a special interest in the line. But who DOES have a special interest in looking after tooks (and bilbo who is a took on his mother’s side/his adopted son frodo)? Gandalf. That dude is ALWAYS fussing over some silly little guy. He regularly brought the old took birthday presents.

Back in the day some bold hobbitess decided to climb that old man and ever since then gandalf has been looking after his line of tiny crazy bastards and no one will convince me otherwise.

impostor syndrome is a common problem in academia. For example my colleagues keep putting me in the airlock and ejecting me into space

Uh.. if you're not the imposter how do you keep coming back?

tenure

I would like to note that contrary to popular belief, tuxedo cats are not little businessmen!

tuxedo is formal party attire, if you wore one at a business function, you would be inappropriately dressed!

tuxedo cats are, instead, lil fancy guys, darling socialites, even

Carefree gadabouts.

jolly good chaps

in possession of a good fortune

little Bertie Woosters, every one.

#in this metaphor their humans are the Jeeves #ah i see sir has caught himself in the windows blinds once again #very good sir

The Australian state of Tasmania is being held hostage and terrorized by a single elephant seal and this has been going on for more than a month now.

He’s just a baby. He’s not even two years old. But he weighs over 1,000 pounds and refuses to go back in the sea even though he’s done molting. His hobbies include blocking roadways, sleeping in front of cars, purposefully knocking over signposts, playing with traffic cones and barking at people.

we are not being held hostage by neil. we love him.

is he behind you as you type that

you're laughing. neil is blocking the cars of people desperate to see the aurora and you're laughing.

NEIL! NEIL! NEIL! NEIL!

I love how Tumblr has two celebrities, Neil and Neil.

@neil-gaiman

Donna should get the Doctor's number and be allowed to call the TARDIS randomly in future episodes for no reason. never aliens. no more aliens for Donna. always just some bullshit like "my mum told me the pink blouse makes me look washed out????" and the Doctor has to be like "girl! she's crazy! but also I'm actively being shot at right now so I will have call you back"

@its-the-doctor-bayyybe and he's like "that's an odd assumption. i mean i have four but that's not the point"

@extra-terrestial omg you're so right. "can you get me some noodles from the place on the corner 3 hours ago?"

[Image ID: Two screenshots of Tumblr tags, they read:

First Image (written by @/its-the-doctor-bayyybe): “she calls him up to ask if she can borrow a vcr. When asked why he was asked Donna is like ‘you seemed like you would have one’”

Second Image: “yes absolutely 100% she would also call because she wants takeout and all the delivery places are closed” END ID]

some legendary additions from the notes

the notes have made this one of the most enjoyable posts i've ever made. love u donna nation

@sing-you-fools I am straight up hooting and hollering at this

this is all canon now except she doesn't even have to call. he literally lives out back like an outdoor dog

Spicy-brained friends, I would like to propose an update to the very useful ‘if you hate everyone, eat, if everyone hates you, sleep, and if you hate yourself, shower’ mantra to live by

Have you suddenly become a petty, hateful little gremlin who thinks people should face the firing squad for (checks notes) leaving teabags on the counter, breathing loudly, or daring to exist in the same space as you? Perhaps mundane and reasonable requests like ‘hey, we agreed to hang out now, let’s hang out’ make you want to scream and move to a yurt in the woods.

You. Are. Overstimulated.

People talk a lot about being overstimulated, and the physical/mental effects of it. What I haven’t seen is people talking about what it does emotionally, and it took me an embarassingly long time to link up those nitpicky, resentful emotions with the state of overstimulation/meltdown/shutdown.

These feelings do not mean that you’re a bad person! They probably aren’t how you actually feel about the people around you. They probably do mean that your nervous system is at its absolute limit and any request/demand/stimulus is Too Much and taking you into fight or flight territory.

Go lie down in a dark room for an hour, or find somewhere safe and familiar to stim for a bit. If it’s happening a lot, schedule yourself regular low-stimulation shutdown time

Signed: someone who moved in with their nearest and dearest only to have a massive crisis of faith about Suddenly Hating All of Them. I don’t hate them, it’s just overstimulating living with people. If I can spare anyone else a similar 9 months of suspecting that they may actually be a bit of a shit person, then this post is worth it!

catgirl strip club but all the poles are scratchposts

(Cat Lunch Break - KC Green)

THAT'S WHERE IT'S FROM?!

me: if I become the evil overlord I will never harm my minions

[5 years later]

highly throwable imp: hoohoohee

me: hmm

Just checking in with the chuckable imp union, how's negotiations going?

it's really up in the air right now