A Shade of Pemberley

How dare you leave this Jason Todd discourse in the tags.

[footage of the inside of an ordinary Eastern-European home, taken with a handheld phone camera, the man filming is walking from the living room to the back door of the house]

man, narrating in russian: Every fucking year, this time of the year, the pond at my backyard gets infested. What do ponds get infested with? Frogs? Poisonous weeds? Geese? No. Not my pond.

[The man opens the back door, stepping out into a garden. Three or four nude, human-like figures dash from the borders of a pond back into the water.]

man: Rusalki! I don't know where they come from or how they get here, and I can't afford to hire an exterminator every year. I can't let my cat outside anymore. Last year a rusalka managed to drown a whole deer in my pond, the stench was unbearable.

[He walks as he speaks, approaching the pond. There are several eerily beautiful female beings peering at him from under the surface, their long hair floating in the murky water. Their eyes are gleaming in an unhuman way. The man holding the camera stops to film them.]

man, calm and deadpan: What the fuck are all of you staring at. Get jobs or something.

[One of the rusalki, smaller than the others and clearly not a fully matured adult, slowly reaches out of the water with her white, thin hand, grasping his ankle. He appears unconcerned.]

man: You can't drown me, you little idiot. You're too small. Shoo!

[A loud thud startles the rusalki, making them scatter. A second thud makes it clear these are the approaching footsteps of something massive. The man turns around and points the camera at what appears to be a house, walking past above the treeline with chicken-like legs]

man, now yelling: IF YOUR HOUSE SHITS ON MY YARD AGAIN I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD-

This post is a joy and a delight.

* * * News Interruption * * *

Make actors learn how to tap dance and do random tap numbers in the middle of movies again

"Is this because of Singin' in the Rain again" I'll stop whining about this when the Moses Supposes scene stops fucking like a complete machine

Incorrect OUAT Quotes [25.5 of ?] [2 of 2] [insp]

Bonus:

You’re all really going to love my fantasy novel that comes out next year.

Can't wait to see what it's about!! Congrats!!!

I think you’ll really dig it, as an OG Swanfire shipper! 😉

So happy for you!! You have always been such an incredible writer!

Alicia underground by Patricio Betteo

The Art of Kiki’s Delivery Service (2006 art book)

Mermay 2023 by Lavera Grace

so great

Alice in Wonderland by Sheya

SWANFIRE APPRECIATION WEEK 2020 (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

🦢🔥 Day 1:  Quote 

in almost every other children's book where the main heroine is swept away to a land of whimsy she's shown having a lovely time; braving dangers occasionally, trying to find her way home, sure, but ultimately delighting in the magic around her. meanwhile alice spends her entire time in wonderland like

look, here’s the thing: alice in wonderland’s enduring fucking charm is that it perfectly captures the vibe of being a very tired and annoyed child who is nonetheless required to play along with adult nonsense.

alice is dragged from place to place without warning, forced to play stupid games with no good prizes, grilled over her schooling and manners and recitation and dress, scolded, judged, insulted to her face, sent away, given gifts she didn’t ask for and doesn’t like, corrected incorrectly, been subject to shifting and arbitrary rules, and then when she gets snappish with all this bullshit everyone acts like a little girl’s temper is the end of the fucking world.

alice in wonderland isn’t a drug trip or a nightmare or a metaphor, that’s just what being ten years old is LIKE. that’s why kids love it so much. even if they can’t quite articulate how, they recognize themselves in it.

I’m not disagreeing about Alice and how she’s ten and this is what childhood feels like, but I also want to add that Alice in Wonderland (and Through the Looking-Glass) is my absolute favorite book of all time because I think it’s what life feels like. Like, Wonderland is the most accurate depiction of life. And sure, it’s written as a children’s book and she’s a child, but let me tell you, almost every day something happens around me that makes me feel like Alice in Wonderland, just staring at people spouting absolute nonsense like it means something, being made to do useless things all the time for no reason but the people with power tell you that you have to do it, etc. I guess maybe the lesson is capitalism and/or modern society makes us all into ten-year-olds???? Idek, but Alice is absolute GENIUS and if you have never read it as a grown-up you should do yourself a favor and read it, it only take a few hours and you will laugh so hard, it is HILARIOUS and wonderful in all ways and once a year I read Alice because it’s just...so, so, deeply great ugh cannot say enough good things about the brilliance of Wonderland.

“Speak in French when you can't think of the English for a thing--turn your toes out when you walk---And remember who you are!”

The Red Queen’s advice to Alice.

Through the Looking Glass is absurdist (avant-la-lettre) genius.

I really like the word “smitten”. because at first glance you just think of sappy lovey-dovey stuff but also you have to remember this is a word that’s born of the word “smite.” a devastating word. a word that, summarized, means stricken. smitten means stricken as well — struck with devastating affection.