apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesn’t have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it “David’s jitterbug” (for those of you that don’t know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said “excuse me I have to take this” and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office

this is the phone. he apparently was in the middle of a meeting with the department the other day and got annoyed so he pressed a button, said “I have to take this” and left

Sometimes u just gotta make yourself a quesadilla and move the fuck on

The worst part about this post??? People saying “with cheese!” Bitch cheese is literally in the word if it had no cheese it would be a dilla

in some places a quesadilla doesnt include cheese

How cute is this 😊😇

IM ABOUT TO CRY THIS IS AMAZING!

god at the gates of heaven reading out to me what my life could have been like if i’d got my shit together

I know we all hate this website but I am glad that we’ve at least realized here that overly-specific niche memes are a million times better than generic relatable memes

Average Facebook meme:

When you EAT FOOD 👌👌👌😂😂😂😂🔥🔥🔥🔥💯💯💯😂😂😂 #squadgoals #lit #litmemes

Average tumblr meme:

How millennials killed the divorce industry

Thank you for agreeing to take the Pre-Employment Assessment Test. Please answer all questions as truthfully as you can.

QUESTION 1: Your wife, the mother of your children, is drowning. You have a life preserver. However, a customer requires your assistance. What do you do?

QUESTION 2: A man has been caught stealing from the company and he is currently awaiting execution. You are the executioner. Do you pull the trigger?

QUESTION 3: Which sentence best describes yourself?

- I have clinical depression.

- I’m ready to be productive!

QUESTION 4: Which sentence best describes yourself?

- I try to do things to the best of ability.

- I am willing to bleed for you.

QUESTION 5: Are you afraid to die?

donna and the dynamos could beat all the avengers

thanos too tf???

ur right. infinity war would’ve been over in 2 seconds if they’d included the dynamos

brain: sad

me: wait what why? everything is fine right n-

brain: sad and gUILTY

if my 13 year old self could see me now she’s be like i can’t believe you’re still alive

All Star translated into Aramaic translated back to English

Translated back is WAY better than the actual song.

sometimes the ocean just brings you. big trees.

just massive pieces of driftwood. and thats okay. its normal.

“hey i think you guys dropped this”

Playing fetch with the Deep Ones.

i came, i saw, i dissociated