Whoa.

what’s this? Tumblr looks weird af these days

Oh my god tumblr.

It’s been so long. I want to get back into blogging. Maybe this will be my 2021 goal. This past year has been just the pits - but with the administration change things feel slightly lighter. Like we actually might get good work done.

I’m finally confronting my PTSD, painting, taking photos of love, and still keeping my kiddo breathing. All the awards for those small wins.

Anyhoo.

Here’s some new work

i realize my last post was also selfies but i look exceptionally hot tonight.

i exist. instagram filters ftw.

“So live your life that the fear of death can never enter your heart. Trouble no one about their religion; respect others in their view, and demand that they respect yours. Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people. Prepare a noble death song for the day when you go over the great divide.

Always give a word or a sign of salute when meeting or passing a friend, even a stranger, when in a lonely place. Show respect to all people and grovel to none.

When you arise in the morning give thanks for the food and for the joy of living. If you see no reason for giving thanks, the fault lies only in yourself. Abuse no one and no thing, for abuse turns the wise ones to fools and robs the spirit of its vision.

When it comes your time to die, be not like those whose hearts are filled with the fear of death, so that when their time comes they weep and pray for a little more time to live their lives over again in a different way. Sing your death song and die like a hero going home.”

i need a journal. like a physical journal - where i can have thoughts.

someplace to keep to myself - like - truly to myself.

i feel so damn alone recently. i’m not - i actually have plenty of people in my life. friends, a boyfriend, the whole nine.

seasonal depression is just kicking my ass. i can’t help feeling like a last resort in everyone’s life. like - when you are down & out / without all hope - that’s when i am useful.

ho hum. this is my first post in like a month and it’s me feeling bad for myself.

2020

my only resolution is to share more of myself. i’m not sure that will be here. i’d love to get back into blogging, get back into writing in general but - we’ll see how the wind blows.

what i am going to do is make a really serious effort to be more open (at least in the creative sense) across other platforms. my business is always on the forefront of my mind & i think sharing more of myself there can only help me. i want to create more and i scare myself out of it so often. i’ve gotta stop holding myself back. not everything is going to be the best - that’s how we grow. that’s ok.

i am constantly afraid of rejection when sharing parts of myself. but why? the worst thing that can happen is someone who doesn’t know me finds something they don’t like. and who the fuck cares about that.

the people i have in my life are there for a reason & i’ve gotten better over the last year at letting the people who don’t need to be there go. i’m clinging less tightly to the past i cannot bring back. i’m not all the way there but - i’m working at it.

there is plenty of unknown in my life these days. i have decided i’m okay with being here - in part at least.

so, here’s to my new year. here’s to your new year.

feel free to follow me on one of the links posted below. or don’t - your choice - either way.

http://instagram.com/kbattlephotography

http://instagram.com/kaybttl