no it isn't fine. I'm tired of being left behind and of nobody talking to me unless I send them a message first. I don't know at what point I just became the "oh well" friend but I never wanted anyone to just drop me like garbage and not even try talking to me anymore. I don't get asks. I barely get texts unless I send them first. I just. I don't ever get spoken to anymore unless I start it. I get it's a two way street and I don't try often but even when I do it goes nowhere and certainly nobody ever attempts it with me anymore. I know I'm garbage at hanging out in person but I just don't do physical interaction well at all. but I don't see why that means I have to be ignored everywhere else. and forgotten. I'm depressed but not impossible. at least I never thought so until now.

im tired and angry and sad and I'm going the fuck to bed. I'll delete this and probably my blog in the morning.

nobody cares regardless so it's fine

it super sucks to be left behind while the rest of your friends bond with each other all the time. all the time.

literally nobody talks to me consistently anymore save for one person and I'm reminded of it constantly and it sucks

why did I make a drow noble who actually still lives in a drow city with a family because I have to come up with sisters and some brothers and why do I do this to myself

@zacksfairest it's a curse

creates OCs with character sheets and stories for dndverse

never does anything with them

@pinkboobcones it's October 3!

bizarre things I would eagerly accept for my birthday

1) ten gallons of crangrape juice

2) a life size posable skeleton

I'm super restless I want to go do something but I'm broke as shit until payday next week thanks to all the stuff I've had to pay for

it's gonna take me an eternity to read NOTW because it's extremely slow paced so I can't stay focused for more than a few chapters before I grow tired and have to close it