he is in preschool do you love him
whats he studying?
toys and playtime
oh i’m sure he is a pleasure to have in class!
@aestheticallybellarke / aestheticallybellarke.tumblr.com
he is in preschool do you love him
whats he studying?
toys and playtime
oh i’m sure he is a pleasure to have in class!
spring is coming. Spring IS COMING. You will stand on soft grass again, and feel the sun kiss your cheeks and shoulders. you will eat of the same berries as the animals returned from their hibernation. you will hear the air alive with your collective breathing.
sometimes you need to give up committing to the bit when someone genuinely can’t tell if it’s a bit or not and is getting distressed about it :/ sorry
sometimes all u need to do is take one second to say "(yeah this is a bit)" if someone is genuinely asking because they genuinely can't tell, and then you can continue with the bit. i just feel like refusing to acknowledge someone saying "i cant tell if youre joking or not" and you just continue, or even say, "im not joking" then you're not being very funny, you're just being kind of mean, i think.
obviously there is nuance to this and if you know someone really well sometimes going in harder on the bit will make them get that it's a bit and that's fine if you know them. but just be mindful, yknow? not everyone can pick up on stuff like that, and pushing harder on a bit by saying "im serious" when someone asks if you're joking or not can be harmful in some situations.
🔝this
also i love that the phrase "piss on the poor" is functionally an effective shorthand on here for "someone has a lack of reading comprehension". wonder how long it will be before the knowledge that it is an intentional misapprehension of the phrase "piss poor" disappears and we get a Reader who says. the phrase piss on the poor is so cruel we should say something else
based on the notes of this post, which has gotten several thousand in the last day or so, we have in fact already reached this point
"Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers."
(Incidentally, "piss poor" is itself taken from the phrase "not a pot to piss in", which is itself a shortening of "not a pot to piss in or a window to throw it from", in reference to those so poor that they had neither home nor chamberpot. Isn't language fun?)
For those in the notes wondering, it's a reference to this ancient post:
Wow, 2012.
[ID: tumblr post from November 2012, by user drakensberg-blog saying "The reading comprehension and overall common sense in this website is piss poor."
This is followed up by a comment added by user poupon, who jokingly replied "how dare you say we piss on the poor." /end ID]
It's so funny when TERFs do biological essentialism and take it to some insane extreme I never could have imagined on my own. You'll be scrolling an LGBT or feminist tag and suddenly see a post that says "Women prefer milk chocolate colored pretzels while men prefer dark chocolate covered pretzels due to Female Socialization," and some other TERF in the notes is replying "Men eat dark chocolate covered pretzels because they have angry, rage-filled souls. Women are incapable of eating dark chocolate covered pretzels, the flavor is too harsh and wicked for their gentle tongues." and not a single person in the thread realizes that this is fucking balderdash
Ad Reinhardt
just asked the barista for a “12 inch” latte rather than “12 ounce” latte, tried to correct myself, and did it again.
I’m alive awake alert enthusiastic today, clearly
BARKEEP GIMME THE FOOTLONG
i have hired this fucking thing to stare at you
im rehiring this fucking thing to stare at you
Dionysus on Theseus and Ariadne
In most versions of the Theseus myth, he dumps her literally/figuratively on the island of Naxos, Dionysus’s sacred island and sails back to Athens without her. The next day Dionysus is like “Hey beautiful castaway, I notice you’re living in a lean-to in my backyard, want to get married just a fuck you to Theseus?” and is faithful to her for the rest of her life.
When Athenians told the story, because they wanted to make their hometown boy look good, they say Dionysus actually demanded her as tribute for safe passage back to Athens…but I prefer to believe Dionysus is the patron of the fake/revenge dating that becomes real romance trope
If you have not read the percy jackson series you will not have experienced the absolutely incredible scene in the third book where Dyonisus reveals why he is the way he is towards the demigods. In Riordan’s version Dyonisus does not just marry her for her mortal lifespan but she became immortal and lives with him on Olympus as his wife.
So great news- the idea that Ariadne is given immortality and lives with Dionysus comes from Hesiods Theogyny, which is almost as old as the Odyssey and is the second oldest written account of Ariadne that survives today.
“And golden-haired (khrysokomes) Dionysos made blonde-haired Ariadne, the daughter of Minos, his buxom wife: and [Zeus] the son of Kronos (Cronus) made her deathless and unageing for him.”
We also have a good bit of archeological evidence that she was revered as a goddess in classical times with her own festivals and cult worship. (Possibly originating as a Minoan goddess and then absorbed into the larger Greek pantheon with time.)
While more modern Western artists love to focus on the moment Theseus abandons her, much of her older classical art depicts her side by side with Dionysus as his immortal wife.
Didn’t mortal/immortal pairings come up here a little while ago? Here’s one of the best ones for you.
i love wizards bc they fucking lie all the time. gandalf was like “a wizard is never late he arrives precisely when he means to” lying ass. he was late as fuck. wizards will just say whatever. it doesn’t even matter when you have a big ass hat
You: *panicking, running for your life through my labyrinth space station*
Me, over intercoms: You have terf bangs
1215649380039
i love wizards bc they fucking lie all the time. gandalf was like “a wizard is never late he arrives precisely when he means to” lying ass. he was late as fuck. wizards will just say whatever. it doesn’t even matter when you have a big ass hat
I'm sorry what the fuck did you just say ??? This has to be fake.
Invading other countries and violating their soverignty has been what constituted the majority of french history for at least the past 500 years
st patrick’s day easily the funniest american holiday. nothing makes me more patriotic than watching everyone collectively pretend to be from somewhere else as an excuse to get trashed in the street and wear lots of green. ideal
my great-grandpa (half irish american half missing unidentifiable father) got our family out of coal mining because he bet on a lucky horse in tandem with the irish mob in 1932 and they let him keep enough of the winnings to go to trade school and marry the pretty welsh girl down the street. and i have to honor this heritage by getting absolutely smashed at 2pm while wearing a green tshirt that is the only way
When I say editing software is getting dumber, this is what I mean.
In what world is "What dinnered?" more legible than "What happened to dinner?" I just... what?!