Captain’s Log: June 15th, 2018
“Cis men are evil,” “cis men are predators,” and “cis men will hurt me” are things people said in trauma group today. The adding of “cis” before the men statements started with our spiky dog-collared non-binary group member; others started doing the same either as a supportive gesture or, at least, to seem supportive (who can tell?).
The thing is, I know the men the group is talking about. I also know the men they are not talking about: the shitty trans men, who are, inadvertently, being excluded--the trans men who aren’t infallible because of their transness, who act in the same ways some cis men do.
I wonder if they would still make these men statements if I looked like a man. Would “cis” be replaced by “some” if they didn’t know I was trans? Would they withhold those statements altogether? I could be one of those men for all they know.
So when people separate cis and trans men unnecessarily, it sure does feel like they don’t really see me as a man, or a man who can do wrong in the ways they’re talking about, whether or not they are aware that they’re making a distinction at all. Some of them probably don’t want to make me feel different, and it still puts me in this weird place of belonging and not belonging all the same: adding “cis” was likely a supportive nod to me, and yet it still feels--and to some degree is--othering.