ending goblin week with two goblins that are def not one goblin.
Bob Empicee works at an adventuring party supply store near the Woodland border. a kind and soft spoken young goblin, he greets every customer with a smile and seemingly endless patience. so much patience. that close to the border, most of the customers they get are human parties who are usually woefully unprepared and weirdly hostile towards the local wildlife (also kind of rude and price-blind but that’s just retail) . Bob’s job is to politely suggest ways for them not to die, or if they seem really hopeless, politely suggest that they sign on for the rewards card program so that their families can get 20% off of the body recovery fee (a steal!).
Bob off the clock is just sort of…Bob. loves board games. loves sewing. still lives with his parents and helps them pay bills. very private. goes out of town on weekends for relief from the retail grind. he says the stress gets to him. Bob’s a good dude.
~*Battle Amour*~ is a drag queen on the rise who does shows every weekend a few towns over from where Bob coincidentally lives. her entire act is basically dungeon crawling comedy, as she plays the part of an ‘adventure widow’ who has had all the parties she’s ever been apart of broken up or killed in hilarious and gruesome ways. as a result, she’s loaded with ill-begotten gold which she spends on terribly useless (but super stylish!) armor and weapons. she has countless boyfriends and they’re all dragons. she never wears real pants. everyone loves her.
Bob should really catch one of her shows sometimes. I bet he’d like it.