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the dark sludge pit [down here we worship garbage]

@darknessinfourcolors / darknessinfourcolors.tumblr.com

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Anonymous asked:

I forgot I still followed you holy shit??? I started following you when I was a freshman in college; now I graduated

i hope everyone forgot they followed me. i hope everyone forgot anything they may have ever retained about me

but obi juan whoever the fuck you are, congrats on the graduation

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this website? i gotta come back to this website? the people here dont even know i’m married

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heyepiphora

Step right up: I’m throwing a DILDO CARNIVAL! 🎪 Forget lousy stuffed animal prizes; this huge giveaway is the biggest of the year, featuring over 60 sex toys plus all kinds of fun attractions.

I’m giving away the best sex toys on earth – everything from vibrators to dildos to butt stuff to penis toys to harnesses to gender products to porn and gift cards! Most prizes are available to international folks as well.

This year, in addition to the usual giveaway widget, I’ll be running an array of mini giveaways on social media! These attractions will be unveiled as the giveaway goes on, so keep your eyes peeled!

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ndiecity

The sun is probably the closest thing we’ll ever have to a true Eldritch Abomination. Hear me out here-

  • Older than recorded history; was here longer than any of us and will be here long after we leave. Has a finite beginning and end but is still incomprehensibly ancient
  • Burns itself into your vision instantly and can blind you if you look for too long
  • Further prolonged exposure can cause cancerous growths
  • Non-humanoid shape floating through space; colossal flaming tentacles angrily lash out on occasion
  • Sort of just appeared one day and is now surrounded by the corpses of its stillborn children
  • People used to sacrifice other people to appease it
  • Pretty sure it screams at us sometimes
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pondwitch

dont talk or think about this please

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gilgamesh, drunk on his kitchen floor at 3 am talking to a framed picture of enkidu: you;re the only motherfukcer in thiss town who can hhandle me,
enkidu, also sitting on the kitchen floor: i know that's literally why i was made, we've been over this
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ending goblin week with two goblins that are def not one goblin.

Bob Empicee works at an adventuring party supply store near the Woodland border. a kind and soft spoken young goblin, he greets every customer with a smile and seemingly endless patience. so much patience. that close to the border, most of the customers they get are human parties who are usually woefully unprepared and weirdly hostile towards the local wildlife (also kind of rude and price-blind but that’s just retail) . Bob’s job is to politely suggest ways for them not to die, or if they seem really hopeless, politely suggest that they sign on for the rewards card program so that their families can get 20% off of the body recovery fee (a steal!).  

Bob off the clock is just sort of…Bob. loves board games. loves sewing. still lives with his parents and helps them pay bills. very private. goes out of town on weekends for relief from the retail grind. he says the stress gets to him. Bob’s a good dude.

~*Battle Amour*~ is a drag queen on the rise who does shows every weekend a few towns over from where Bob coincidentally lives. her entire act is basically dungeon crawling comedy, as she plays the part of an ‘adventure widow’ who has had all the parties she’s ever been apart of  broken up or killed in hilarious and gruesome ways. as a result, she’s loaded with ill-begotten gold which she spends on terribly useless (but super stylish!) armor and weapons. she has countless boyfriends and they’re all dragons. she never wears real pants. everyone loves her.

Bob should really catch one of her shows sometimes. I bet he’d like it.

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