| Anyway, trans rights.

my sense of humor: getting birthday cards with the wildly incorrect age on it for people

I see this and raise you: getting cards for a wildly different occasion and customizing them to fit the holiday you need

resting your head on their stomach while they play with your hair… the intimacy…. the tenderness…… peak romance

a fools guide to not wanting to die anymore

by me, a fool who doesnt wanna die anymore 

… 8|

That’s some pretty good advice. I don’t know what’s left of my humor after ‘guess I’ll just die’ jokes but it’s worth a shot.

Personally i went from “guess I’ll die” jokes to “IF I HAVE TO BE HERE FOR 5 MORE MINUTES I PROMISE YOU I WILL BUY JUST, AN ARRAY OF CLOTHES.” and other wild hyperbolic stuff. Just replace the death part with something ridiculous and off topic. Its very entertaining

This also works with calling myself things like stupid, worthless, trash, etc. Even if you do this jokingly to yourself, your brain still believes it, and keeps up the cycle. Seriously, I found that when I stopped saying these things about myself, even jokingly, it made a massive difference.

Here’s a tip I picked up from a friend that’s helped me a lot — replace self deprecating jokes with ironically self aggrandizing jokes

Like every time I trip and fall, instead of saying “l’m just a disaster human” I say “I’m the epitome of grace and beauty”

Or like, when I draw a picture I’m not 100% happy with, instead of saying “my art is trash” I say something like “you know I think it’s time we replaced the Mona Lisa”

When you do that you get to make a joke, but you’re ALSO getting practice building yourself up, y’know?

And eventually it becomes a reflex and you get so used to it that you can say nice stuff about yourself even when you AREN’T joking

This is so important

honestly, the thing bout depression is that everything makes me want to nap. virtually any trick from anyone to “wake up” my dumbass brain will transform into an excellent reason to go lie down 

A moment of silent for all those in retail this holiday season.

this cartoon works at target clearly

Ppl r always like “wah wah we HAVE to use mediocre CGI bc makeup and practicla effects is ice consuming and unrealistic for closeups”

& Jurassic Park and Lord of the Rings, both over 20 years old, are like

You are like a little baby watch this

JP & LOTR & Star Trek:

Cats Stage Production:

Cats (2019): Sorry it’s unrealistic to expect us to use makeup or practical effects this is the best cutting edge we can do

Cats (2019): “We made Lion King (2019), but like for furries this time”

The Furries Deserve Better Than This

when i can feel myself being really annoying but i can’t stop

x

what on earth

please if you do anything useful in your life, don’t scroll past this

watch it

PLEASE

tchaikovsky is proud

In case anyone is baffled by this, there’s a Tchaikovsky piece in which there’s supposed to be a loud sound but he never specified what you should use to make that sound. People have done all kinds of weird shit depending on how they think the sound should, well, sound. Hitting a large piece of wood with a sledgehammer is a relatively conventional one.

YIKES

this is fucking awful

It’s more jarring if you watch this right after.

Zero joy. Zero soul. What has man wrought

Oh this made me sad

Oh boy, it's terrible!

there was negative ten attempt to make a single second of the new movie’s animation, action, emotion or camera angles even the least bit entertaining or fun to look at in any way

David Tennant - from The Sunday Times Magazine - Good Omens promotion

Bonus:

calling anyone who isn’t involved in an obvious and categorically same-gender relationship “basically straight” is, quite possibly, the most cisheteronormative thing i have heard in my entire fucking life

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment

likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post

happy independence day let’s impeach the president 

The only 4th of july post i care about

I can top it: yesterday, NPR made a series of tweets that Trump supporters called “propaganda” and “trash words” to insult Trump and push NPR’s agenda.

NPR was tweeting the Declaration of Independence.

And that, folks, describes about 75% of Trump’s voter base.

Some exammples of the Trump followers vs NPR thing

So they are admitting Trump is a dictator?

Some Trump supporters thought NPR tweeted ‘propaganda.’ It was the Declaration of Independence.

This is still funny.

This’ll be hilarious until the day I die. I’m going to have to print this out and grame it

The best part…

“To echo its 29-year on-air tradition, the public radio network’s main Twitter account tweeted out the Declaration of Independence, line by line.“

THEY DO IT EVERY YEAR!

Yeah, this will never cease to be funny.

@deadcatwithaflamethrower