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Where The Wil Things Are

@wherethewilthingsare-blog / wherethewilthingsare-blog.tumblr.com

This is the blog of Australian stand-up comedian Wil Anderson. I have a TV show that normally has the name Gruen in it, a podcast called TOFOP, a DVD called Wilosophy and a couple of books called Survival of the Dumbest and Friendly Fire. I now have a Tumblr, but I haven't really told anyone about it yet, so thanks for stumbling on to me. Leave a comment somewhere so I know you visited.
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Thanks to Shereen for the photos from the Comedy Attic the other night. And yes, I know I need a haircut, in fact I am getting one in about an hour. 

instagram @sheerohero twitter @shereenwhy facebook.com/shereenyounes 

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Superpod 2 - This Time It’s Recorded

Wil: Okay, so there’s three types— well, four times of football. There’s the world game of football that Australia and America call soccer and the rest of the world call football. There is rugby, which is what Rugby Union is.

Dave: And that’s the one that I watched.

Wil: No, you watched Rugby League.

Dave: I watched Rugby League. Okay. So, what’s the difference between Rugby League and Rugby Union?

Charlie: No one knows. It’s a mystery.

Wil: I know! I know what it is. Ah, people who played Rugby Union went to university, and—

Dave: And I watched Rugby League?

Wil: Yeah.

Dave: Oh, it’s so much more fun with dumb guys. I mean, they were fucking idiots. Like, it was amazing. Just screaming. When the ref made a bad called — and it was a terrible call, to the point where I was like, “this isn’t a real league” — they were just screaming and I was like, “This is tremendous. I love these guys. Look at them, they’re so into it.”

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Just for Laughs has announced the lineup for its 33rd annual comedy festival in Montreal, and fans from across the world are already calculating their frequent flyer points. They should also be working out some sweet hotel deals because the 20-day festival runs from July 8 to 28. Headliners this year include Dave Chappelle (playing six shows), Kevin Hart (whose July 24 Bell Centre show is already poised to sell out), Mike Myers (marking his first ever appearance at JFL on July 24 with a reflective “interview”-style performance called An Evening with Mike Myers), Neil Patrick Harris (who will host the closing Videotron JFL galas presented by Air Canada), Trevor Noah (hosting his own Gala on July 23), Jane Lynch (hosting a Gala on July 22), Bill Burr (headlining shows July 22 and 23), Patton Oswalt (who performs July 23 and will be honoured at the JFL Awards, as 2015’s Stand-up Comedian of the Year), “Weird Al” Yankovic (playing a free outdoor concert on July 21), Chris Hardwick (performing July 25), Jason Reitman (who will helm a gathering of comedians and stars for something called Live Read, Directed by Jason Reitman), and Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt star Ellie Kemper (who will be honoured as the Breakout Comedy Star of the Year). They’ll be joined by the likes of T.J. Miller, Chris D'Elia, Jerrod Carmichael, Sebastian Maniscalco, Reggie Watts, Natasha Leggero, Danny Bhoy, Margaret Cho, J.B. Smoove, Pete Holmes, Rob Schneider, Mike Ward, Rachid Badouri, Gilbert Gottfried, Jimmy Carr, Sarah Millican, Russell Howard, Tom Papa, Omid Djalili, Janeane Garofalo, Harland Williams, Colin Jost, Wyatt Cenac, Eric André, Kyle Kinane, Brian Posehn, Ari Shaffir, Brent Morin, Andy Kindler, Hasan Minhaj, Rhys Darby, Jen Kirkman, Alonzo Bodden, Orny Adams, Duncan Trussell, Dana Gould, Moshe Kasher, Tom Segura, Jake and Amir, and Sabrina Jalees among many, many others. Patrons should know there are various series packages and events during JFL, including Talk of the Fest, ComedyPRO, OFF-JFL, and another tier of club shows. Prepare to have laugh sores, weakened lungs, and perhaps most disgustingly, soiled pants. For more information about purchasing passes and tickets and more detailed schedule information, keep an eye on the JFL website

Go to my tour dates for tickets

jenkirkman.com/tour-dates

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Superpod 2 - This Time It’s Recorded

Charlie: Is this what you’d call a TOFOB Fact? I think I just said TOFOB. [to Deeksy] I’m getting your disease!

Deeksy: …what is it?

Charlie: TOFOP!

Deeksy: TOFOP, ohh!

Charlie: Do you know what it stands for?

Deeksy: Um… Ah, Kate was telling me, my sister-in-law… Twenty Odd Foot of…

Charlie: Oh my god.

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Superpod 2 - This Time It’s Recorded

Deeksy: What does [TOFOP] stand for?

Wil: Well, originally it standed for… Standed for. [laughing]

Charlie: It standed for alcoholism.

Wil: Entertaining alcoholism! If I didn’t drink, I wouldn’t give you so much free shit!

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FOFOP Episode 177 - Sniglets Really Satisfy

Wil: For overseas listeners, the Logies are our version of the Emmys, except if the Emm—

Dools: Whoa, are you suggesting that overseas listeners are unfamiliar with Australian television’s night of nights?!

Wil: Oh, I am suggesting that they should be. I think you mean the TV Week Logies.

Dools: [laughing] I think I did mean that, sorry.

Wil: So, anyway, they’re like the Emmys, if the Emmys was the worst thing that had ever happened to anything. Which, I know you think it already is — it is not. There’s this thing called the Logies.

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FOFOP Episode 178 - Russercise

Wil: See, they’ve never been able to nail a Hulk movie. You know, like every time they try to reboot it, it never quite works.

Gareth: Yeah, it’s too complicated.

Wil: Here’s what they do: They make a Hulk comedy. So it’s like, it’s a Dave Anthony-style character and the Hulk is just constantly getting angry.

Gareth: Like when they made Teen Wolf a drama — now we’ll make Hulk a comedy.

Wil: Right!

Gareth: I would definitely see that. “You ever have one of those days?”

Wil: Yeah, it’s just Hulk on the train on Twitter, reading something— “AAARGH!” He’s hulked up.

Gareth: “HULK BLOCK! HULK BLOCK!

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Superpod 2 - This Time It’s Recorded

Charlie took part in the Good Friday Appeal telethon.

Charlie: John Deeks, voice of TOFOP, is also the warm-up guy for Channel Seven. So when they were bringing us out to get us ready for the panel, John’s trying to rev the crowd up and there’s about six or eight hundred people in there. And so I walk out and John’s like, “And look who we’ve got here, Charlie Clausen!” And I’m like, “Oh, I think I know where this is going.” And John’s like, “Alright, hands up anyone here who’s—” And I’m like, “John, don’t do it!” “—a TOFOP fan!” Not one person raised their hand. And I just had to pull Deeksy aside and say, “Mate, it’s a very special group. Very special group.”

Wil: Are you saying we don’t have the same rent-a-crowd as the Royal Children’s Hospital Appeal? Are you saying our fans aren’t the same people who want to sit through twenty minutes of you reading out donations and names in the hope they might glimpse Jessica Mauboy? Is that what you’re saying?

Charlie: That’s what I’m saying, Wil.

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TOFOP Episode 100 - HOHOHOFOP

Wil: But there’s one person on that show, on Person of Interest, who’s like on the side of the supercomputer.

Charlie: Hang on, which— is this the Jim Cazaviezel—?

Wil: That’s right. … [to Melissa the stenographer] By the way, I fucking love, what did you do with that one? Cazaviezel. Did you just—

Charlie: Were you just checking your phone?

Wil: Are you on fucking Wikipedia? What’s going on? Did you have to phone a friend?

Melissa: I put the audio on.

Wil: You put the audio on.

Charlie: Oh, so at least someone’s recording this podcast. Just make sure the microphone’s turned on; that took us, like, eighty episodes to learn that.

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TOFOP Episode 100 - HOHOHOFOP

Wil is curious about Melissa’s stenotype machine.

Wil: I did want to know, how does it all fit on eight pedals, though? That doesn’t seem to make sense. How can you explain it in a way I can understand? Set your bar low. And then I will explain it to Charlie.

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TOFOP Episode 100 - HOHOHOFOP

Wil: What I’ve realised is that this is like us going to Wikipedia, but with live Wikipedia.

Charlie: [to Melissa the stenographer] Do you know anything about Asterix? Because we’ve got some issues with that.

Melissa: Asterix?

Charlie: He’s a small Frenchman in a Gaulish village; anyway, it doesn’t matter…

Wil: I bet I know what the shorthand for Asterix is, though.

Charlie: What is it?

Wil: You know what, I’ll put an asterisk next to that joke and I’ll explain it later on.

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