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Probably Procrastinating

@random-stuff-thrown-into-a-pot / random-stuff-thrown-into-a-pot.tumblr.com

mess of a blog, mess of a person
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I like the expression new-fangled. I don't know what it means for something to be fangled, but I sure as hell know it was recent

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maniculum

It’s from the Old English word feng, which can mean “to take”, or also “to grasp, hold, or embrace”. So something that’s newfangled is something that was taken up recently.

The reason it’s using this pretty archaic root is that it’s an older word than a lot of people think. Here it is in the Canterbury Tales.

Minutes after posting: "Why did I write archaic when I could have gone with old-fangled?"

Reblog to fangle this post

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Oh I’m an asshole.

So today pulling into Stop and Shop, this lady cut me off and nearly drove into me, and then, when I tried to pass her, she swung to the right and nearly hit me again, and then flipped me off.

So somebody is having a bad day and taking it out on me. That’s fine. It’s harmless, and I don’t know what’s going on in this woman’s life. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt she’s not just a piece of shit and is just having a bad day.

But then I park and she follows me, and gets out of the car and starts swearing at me and getting in my face.

Now I go from “indifferent” to “I’m gonna fuck with this woman’s head.” Now I would say I’m a gentleman of size, and in all black and bemohawked I probably look spookier than I actually am, so props to this lady for getting in my face. Now of course I’m not going to hit her, or even threaten violence. That’s shitty. Nobody should get threatened with violence.

Instead, I take a step back, narrowing my eyes like I’m studying her face really closely, and then I touch one of the several piece of “occulty” jewelry I’m wearing (none of which, by the way, are magicked in any way at all). Then I mumble some nonsense under my breath, and then make the fig gesture and the horns at her.

She stops, wide-eyed.

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO TO ME?”

I chuckled, and shake my head. “Nothing at all.” I say in a not-terrible convincing voice. “But every time something bad happens to you today, you’re gonna be thinking of me.”

Then I winked at her, and walked away.

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fuck-i-just

Next time a blocked number calls you answer like this: “Jim’s whore house. You got the dough, we got the hoe.”

Why does this not have any notes?

lol no “Nashville sperm bank, you squeeze it we freeze it. how may I help you?”

“Henderson’s Morgue, you stab em, we slab em, this is Eight Ball speaking.”

“Texas crematorium you kill ‘em we grill ‘em how can I direct your call?”

Pro tip: Don’t do this if you recently applied for a new job.

I feel like there’s a story behind that advice…

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@stvksn on ig

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krillbeans

I hope your god has asked for your mercy. I hope youve refused to forgive him.

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qillermeme

i love this more and more every time i see it.

I have so much love for this person. The amount of empathy it takes to have these considerations about a person you will never meet, the eloquence and conviction with which they speak, the contempt for landlords. Sometimes I see something someone writes or creates and I wish with everything in me that I could meet and talk to that person for hours about what caused them to be this kind of light in the universe. This is one of those times.

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So I’ve been teaching 6th grade since January, and one thing about my female students which made me upset to realize is how many of them are obsessed with skincare. I've heard the girls in my class discussing the EYE CREAM they use. Like tf you mean eye cream? You're ELEVEN!!! I'm a decade older than you and have never even touched eye cream!! The most skincare a middle schooler needs is cleanser and moisturizer, maybe some acne cream. Who tf is selling you all this other stuff? Who tf told you you needed all this?

It hurts me to see. Their brains are too young for these types of insecurities 😭 no 11 year old girl should be obsessed with wrinkles, I wanna beat tf out of whatever tiktoker made them believe they needed skin that perfect

Do you know how fucking miserable it is to watch a group of 11 year old girls obsessively check their skin on pocket mirrors? And hear them talk about how they need new products to fix “imperfections” created by tiktok?? I just taught them last week what the OCEAN TIDES are. I helped one of them spell the word “conduction” yesterday. They just learned what the atmosphere is. Who the fuck is telling these literal children that they need eye cream??!! When I catch you!!!

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NOTE TO SELF-SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!

Slow the fuck down is also the way to avoid scams, social engineering, phishing, etc.

"Oh, no the CEO of my employer is having an emergency and I need to click this link right now!!!"

Slow down...

"Why would the CEO be emailing ME of all people? Maybe this email is a phishing attack that would get my employer hacked and me fired for allowing it." (It probably is a phishing email.)

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lytefoot

In general, "Slow the fuck down" is an extremely powerful information literacy skill.

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ebonykain

This one needs to go right next to the Baltimore accent with the Aaron earns an iron urn.

In case anyone hasn't seen it

love how english started as a rhotic language and half the native speakers said, "oh, Fuck That Noise"

What I DEEPLY LOVE about the Baltimore one is how mad HE IS to realize what his own accent did to it. XD He's SO MAD. XD XD

my personal favorite

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