-insert title here-

what's the point

Jazz still makes me think of you.

I’ll be in L.A. this weekend. It’s finally time for my big trip, and I really need it. The past two years have been rough for me. There’s been some wonderful times, but it’s nearly been overshadowed by all the bad that’s happened. I could go on about every little thing but I won’t.

Also, this very well may be my last post on here before I delete. It’s hard for me to associate the site without some sort of painful memory. This site has led me to places I hadn’t seen before, people I’d never meet, and ideas that never occurred to me on my own. Everything has an ending though, right? One day I will, too.

At any rate, I could change my mind but it’s been my thought for months now. California & Japan are gonna be my next few weeks, I’ll have plenty of time to think it over. Otherwise, goodbye for the last time. Not that anyone reads my stuff anyways. 

X-ray mornings and the mirror cracks again Bad luck making and my bones are breaking in This is the year that the years caught up to me Sinking eyes and my thin vacation days Do I grow or do I fade away? Or do I talk about how things have changed? Cause I won't live that long No I won't live that long But it don't feel wrong When our minds are gone On the roof at dawn I won't live that long X-ray evenings, cross examining my case Crossed my heart before I lied straight to your face I said I believed our best years had yet to take place But I don't really believe in anything Cause now I know that all plans fade away And so I'm only planning for today Oh I won't live that long No I won't live that long But it don't feel wrong When my mind's all gone On the roof at dawn No won't live that long Understand me when I say All I had I gave away

Ive fucked up my entire life.

Everyone leaves. I’m always left by myself in the end, so I don’t know why I’ve ever bothered. Why I thought we were worth fighting for. Or why sometimes I still do. I’m about to have the trip of a lifetime and I can’t stop hating my life as it is now.