What if there was an apocalypse but some people were really really in denial and optimistic and thinking everything will be back to normal soon?

Like they’d be foraging through the ruins of New York for supplies, shooting raiders in the face and saying “Man, this recession is really bad, huh?”

Umm….

ARE YOU KIDDING ME

this post, plus that satire one about the increasingly ridiculous callout culture that slowly became more and more accurate

this one

was anything going on in 2017??? did everyone randomly have prophetic visions????????

Another one from 2017 by @nullsynth

the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls

turns out we had the 2020 vision after all

“the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls” is actually a really fucking metal quote and i will be using it in the future

@handoverthehands it’s from Sound of Silence by Simon and Garfunkel. Referenced as well in Spirit of the Radio by Rush and again in Disturbed’s cover of the original.

And that in itself was a reference to the Book of Daniel from the bible, when the words of the prophet were written on the Babylonian palace walls.

In the real world, it’s not the kings and people in power who see the signs of doom, but the poor people in the subway, helpless to stop it.

i said let’s have some fun this beat is sick

I said i wanna take a ride on your disco stick

ask me about the difference between leopard/cheetah/jaguar print, it’s my field of expertise 

What is the difference? Please learn me a thing

cheetahs got dots! little dot dots i want to bop

leopards got filling. it’s cheetah 2.0. Cheetah on meth. look at that leopard shit. 

then there’s jaguar. Jaguar is madness. it took leopard print & decided wait. what if–MAW DOTS. it’s just leopard print with dots in the middle, it’s chaos

look at this bullshit

i’m angry just looking at it

so in ascending order: Cheetah < Leopard < Jaguar

C.L.J. someone come up with weird mnemonic for that, i’ve done enough work for you greedy bastards

Cats love jazz

there it is

(Source)

my wIFE!!! (also known as how to get clear skin in 5 mins)

A true warrior queen has risen

C h o s e n

I want her to be in charge of everything, just like the Lady intended.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com.au/2017/09/05/girl-pulls-sword-from-legendary-lake-of-king-arthurs-excalibur_a_23197937/

to clarify, these are two different young girls pulling two different swords from two different lakes, about a year apart. strange women in ponds will continue to distribute swords

Listen maybe Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is  a good basis for a system of government.

True Lady of the lake.

Orbital path of asteroid near miss in 2002. Yah, that’s how close we came to nuclear winter and possible total destruction.

A visitor.

It’s like it’s trying so hard to hit us and it just can’t do it

All I can imagine is every astronomer drinking heavily from 2002-2003 like “There it goes–OH FUCK IT’S COMING BACK”

Thanks moon <3

Moon: YEET

The moon threw it away yay moon

the moon was having none  of it

The best part about this? They took a picture (read: spectrographic analysis) of the thing and found out it wasn’t an asteroid at all. It was a piece of a Saturn V rocket, discarded in space decades ago and set into an orbit around the sun. That’s right, this motherfucker spent 30 years orbiting the sun, waiting for a chance to have its revenge on the petty humans who abandoned it in the void.

So that weirdly common Star Trek trope in which one of our space probes comes back to fuck us up turned out to be true

I like to see it as it desperately wanted to be a moon

Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again (2018) dir. Ol Parker

What do I do when I have a whole month of insomnia, and medicine isn’t helping?

THIS.

the revengers actual children

so they really made a movie based on those ‘WHAT IF POKEMON WERE REAL’ deviantart renderings from the 00s

Actually, yes.

He did stuff like this:

holy shit proud of him

@grimchild look, it you

Oh hey its me! It was a crazy experience to get that call. They were looking at a list of realistic Pokemon and said, “lets get that guy!”

Constance Wu and Gemma Chan as Rachel and Astrid in Crazy Rich Asians (2018)

oh my god i'm cleaning out my desk and i found my first phone

it was a fucking house phone that i was so stoked to have because it was mine that i kept in my own room and i cannot believe technology has progressed at the speed of FUCKING light to the point where this is a hilarious artifact to have had in like 6th grade and now theres kindergarteners with iphones

How did you know if you dialed the right number

each button made a different tone so the numbers you dialed a lot became a subconscious melody in your head and if you hit the wrong button by accident it would sound like a wrong note in a song you know by heart

i can’t beleive that is a legitimate question in my lifetime

Other acceptable answer: the wrong person answers on the other end.

Another acceptable answer: the robot lady comes on the phone and tells you number doesn’t exist.

Let’s be honest, this is all of us

You’re goddamned right. 

Pro tip. My dad emailed his story to himself whenever he worked on it. That way he would have date and time stamps if anyone tried to steal it and also so that if the computer crashed and it was erased, he had an accessable copy to go back to.

I had to look at this for five minutes to realise that it was BBC and noty the onion