person: hey you ok?

me, dissociating: 

Date someone who will date you

Need me a freak like that

everyone at tumblr on december 16, 11:59 PM right before staff bans titties for eternity:

*me, getting ready to hit you with a sick-ass keyboard smash*:

I see your Palm keyboard and raise an IBM Butterfly keyboard. 

WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE

it’s called “the late 90s/early 00s was a WILD time in consumer electronics”

That’s some nice calligraphy you got there…

I was volunteering at a booksale when I ran across this and just…

Submitted to me by mrsrhettbutler

uh…those arms…you’re all thinking that, right…?

i feel like we’re all just kind of reblogging it in a circle and looking at each other uneasily like, waiting for someone to finally give in and yell it out in the reply chain

ROBO-DILDO.

you held out as long as you could, i’m sure.

Dildobot

Edward Dildo-arms

DOMO ARIGATO FISTO ROBOTO

I SPAT OUT MY WATER ON THE LAST COMMENT FUCK

i literally can’t stop thinking about this video and i lose it every time

Lmfao

okay everything about this video is absolute gold:

for anyone who wants to see more stuff like this, you can probably find clips of it on YouTube. it came from a show called “Wonder Showzen” and it’s responsible for these gems, too:

im not INTERESTED anymore in seeing men’s perception of what female leisure time looks like, how we lounge around hairless and small and beautiful on our beds and couches in oversized shirts and lace underwear, unaware and unassuming and all the more beautiful for not Trying to be beautiful, i’m TIRED of it. even our most basic freedom of privacy, time alone with the self, has been butchered and ripped from us by the gaze of male photographers and artists

men’s perception of women lounging:

women actually lounging

I dont know what to say. I’m at a ,’ , |,’_’ for words

every time i open this app i read some dumb ass shit

And every time we kiss I swear I can fly

No-one questions an Italian plumber who eats brightly coloured mushrooms and believes turtles are out to get him