advice to all mutuals: flirt with me sometimes

One time during my freshmen year of college I forgot to do a history paper that was worth 20% of my grade and the teacher didn’t accept late work, so I waited until the professor handed back the papers and angrily asked where mine was. The teacher felt so bad for losing it he let me re-do the entire paper and gave me an A-

You fucking champ

OH MY FUCK GOD SHIT GREATEST MOMENT OF MY SHORT LIFE

when a cat likes you, its like being elected president.

when a bird likes you, its like being chosen King Arthur, ruler of albion, the once and future king, gifted with Excalibur, born of blood and magic

she thought she was killing it :(

REMINDER: if i'm following u and u hot hmu

lmfao

I went down my dash for two minutes to find this

A part of me dies every time no one gets my joke

Wreath Witherspoon.

I HAVE BEEN LAUGHING AT THIS FOR LEGITIMATELY 3 MINUTES STRAIGHT

With the help of the Kia Sorento, Cheryl has prepared a tasty birthday surprise for her best friend. Join them on this episode of The Getaway Guide! Watch here.

im just a human bean

if u feel sad right now look at this bunny eating a flower

me: i need to lose some weight

friend: but you look so good

me: bitch who said i didn’t look good!! the fuck!!!!

Albert Einstein (via quotethatword)