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Jolene (33 R.P.M) - click for .mp3

Unsure where this came from, if not the palsied hands of the good Lord himself.

Simple premise: Dolly Parton’s “Jolene” slipped from 45 to 33 rpm. Nothing more; no studio trickery, no trip hop drum breaks. The guitar lopes back in and around itself. The bass becomes elastic, hot rubber. The violin stabs become sustained cello lines. The backing choir’s split harmony rattles around, slinking ghostly into the corner.  And most importantly, Parton’s once-frantic vocal is transformed from bubblegum country scrawl into something approximating field holler reverence. 

An already perfect song made transcendental..

Well, this changes everything.

dare i say that stuffed animals are one of the single greatest inventions of all time and im thankful every day for the fact that someone thought to make animals but in huggable plush form…..saved me from a lot of bad nights and nightmares as a kid, i love you stuffed animals

 i just wanna thank stuffed animals for existing, thank you for being stuffed pals for all these years

— (via i-love-you-from-a-distance)

How to keep your girl happy:

Step 1: Make her laugh. Step 2: Make her moan.

Step 3: Buy her food

Step 4: Fuck her hard

Step 5: trEAT her right

Step 6: Make her cum first

Step 7: Play with her hair until she falls asleep

Step 8: Text her back fast

Step 9: respect her

Step 10: make her feel special

Step 11: don’t lie to her

Step 12: Love her with all of your heart

Step 13: kiss her forehead

Step 14: hug her

Step 15 : stay.

Wow the last one hit home

THIS!!!!!!

secondhand embarrassment is pure agony and i wish a lot of comedy didnt rely on it

I cannot deal with it. I have to literally leave the room.

It’s a sign of being extremely empathetic.

Y’know when people use the Tolkien quote “Not all those who wander are lost” as inspirational.. It’s just.. That line was referring to Sauron’s evil servants being around in Middle Earth.. Not about your boho journey to South Cali in a rented minivan..

I don’t know where, when, or how OP pulled this from the depths of their asshole and decided to splatter it across the internet as Fact, and I really don’t care, because this is the full poem.

All that is gold does not glitter/Not all those who wander are lost/The old that is strong does not wither/Deep roots are not reached by the frost/From the ashes a fire shall be woken/Alight from the shadows shall spring/Renewed shall be blade that was broken/The crownless again shall be king.

In text, Bilbo fucking Baggins wrote that poem for Aragorn and the Rangers, who don’t have homes and wander around the West of Middle Earth generally being badass and saving people and protecting the good left in the world.

It’s not about the servants of Sauron. It’s not even close to being about Sauron. Go home, you’re drunk.

I’m crying

American Gods Characters as Star Signs

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This is the lucky clover cat. reblog this in 30 seconds & he will bring u good luck and fortune.

THIS ONE!!! THIS IS THE ONE THAT WORKS!!!!!

I reblogged him the day i started treatment and 1. GOT TO MY APPOINTMENT ON TIME 2. FOUND A FREE PARKING TICKET SOMEONE LEFT IN THE METER FOR ME AND 3. GOT FREE STARBUCKS AFTER MY APPOINTMENT!!!!!

Rebagelling for positive energy! WE ALL NEED IT YO.

i like clingy. i like double texts, phone calls, good morning & goodnight texts. i like knowing someone cares. i like knowing they try

OMDFG

Wysuhwushshs ahhahahah

— (via i-love-you-from-a-distance)

actually sleeping with someone is so nice like waking up in the middle of the night and snuggling closer or lazily giving them a kiss or just feeling their arms around you squeeze slightly even though they’re in a deep sleep or handholding while you both are asleep ugh that’s that shit I like

— (via i-love-you-from-a-distance)

(via SilviuMajor)

(via lyss121)

when i ask “did you get home safe?” i mean i love you and the thought of you at risk makes me ache