I’ve invented ‘The Knife-Wielding Tentacle'👍

“if anybody would like to volunteer to come and turn it off, that would be just fine by me”

@fake-bird

@lanternlighting When did your brother get an english accent?

(x)

How tf California in a dtougbt

There’s water to the left of y'all Like Go get it. It’s always been there.

you know how hard it is to take saltwater and make it drinkable? Not that simple

Why ont you start with removing the salt from ya attitude

IM GONNA FUCKING PEE MYSELF

Bruh

Did this bloke just make a hydraulic exo-skeleton in his shed.

THIS is the cyberpunk future we’ve been waiting for

That’s impressive

Largest amount of swag I have ever witnessed

That’s smooth

this nigga smoked the whole shit

tom was always the homie when it came down to rackin bitches.

Puppy attempts to reclaim bed from cat

I’ve never seen any animal be so thoroughly unimpressed by the efforts of another animal.

me explaining underwear to aliens: we have smaller, secret pants that we wear under our normal pants

reblog if you believe in Mr. Pebbles

I place one lawyer face down and end my turn. Your witness.

breaking news from Gawker Media

My Halloween Costume this year: Pom Wonderful bottle! I’ve always joked about sharing the same body type as my favorite juice, so I decided it was time for the vision to come alive.

All of the front lettering is felt that has been hand sewn to a dress (from ebay). Most of the nutritional facts on my bum are done with puffy paint. The cap hat is made from cardboard, phonebook paper, hot glue, and some netting.

My purse is a large Pom Wonderful bottle, dyed with alcohol ink, lined in cellophane with a ribbon strap and button closure. Wig is from Amazon! Shoes are thrifted.

Please let me know if you have any questions, and Happy Halloween!