The Tortured Poets Department Prologue

At this hearing I stand before my fellow members of the Tortured Poets Department With a summary of my findings A debrief, a detailed rewinding For the purpose of warning For the sake of reminding

As you might all unfortunately recall I had been struck by a case of a restricted humanity Which explains my plea here today of temporary i n s a n i t y

You see, the pendulum swings Oh, the chaos it brings Leads the caged beast to do the most curious things

Lovers spent years denying what's ill fated Resentment rotting away galaxies we created

Stars placed and glued meticulously by hand next to the ceiling fan

Tried wishing on comets. Tried dimming the shine. Tried to orbit his planet. Some stars never align.

And in one conversation, I tore down the whole sky.

Spring sprung forth with dazzling freedom hues Then a crash from the skylight bursting through Something old, someone hallowed, who told me he could be brand new

And so I was out of the oven and into the microwave Out of the slammer and into a tidal wave How gallant to save the empress from her gilded tower Swinging a sword he could barely lift But loneliness struck at that fateful hour Low hanging fruit on his wine stained lips

He never even scratched the surface of me.

None of them did.

"In summation, it was not a love affair!" I screamed while bringing my fists to my coffee ringed desk It was a mutual manic phase. It was self harm. It was house and then cardiac arrest.

A smirk creeps onto this poet's face Because it's the worst men that I write best.

And so I enter into evidence My tarnished coat of arms My muses, acquired like bruises My talismans and charms The tick, tick, tick of love bombs My veins of pitch black ink

All’s fair in love and poetry

Sincerely, The Chairman of The Tortured Poets Department

said this in tags earlier but i think a major theme on TTPD is going to be taylor realizing that she doesn’t break everything she touches, loom like a dark cloud over her entire universe, or bear blame for every issue in her interpersonal relationships

The analogy of Matty as a “forget him” pill in the Fortnight video and “I took the miracle move on drug, the effects were temporary” is the heart of it I feel. If you had to have an extremely painful surgery and could choose to go medicated or not, what would you pick? She had to end things with Joe but she couldn’t bring herself to do it for years because she knew the pain of actually losing him would be too much to bear, and along comes this person peddling that he can take away all the pain. He sells her a story about how he is the great love of her life, that he’s never forgotten her all this time, that it was supposed to be them all along. He can give her everything she can’t bear to let go of. And who wouldn’t want to believe that, when the alternative is … the love that you thought was forever just ends and there’s nothing and no one? So she does it, she takes the pill, she has the surgery, only to find he was selling not just snake oil but poison that leaves her far worse off than she was in the beginning. She feels all the pain of the surgery and the side effects of the drug in one fell swoop.

i understand the “icdiwabh makes eras tour feel weird” mentality but also it’s important to remember that the song isn’t really about us. she’s not miserable bc of us, she’s miserable WHILE performing for us. a sea of strangers giving her their energy for a few hours (singing along to songs about her never-ending love(s) that did, in fact, end) is not a replacement or a fix for everything she went through last spring - we didn’t have the ability to “heal” her, nor should it be surprising to hear that we didn’t “heal” her. our love is unrelated to the loves she lost.

but she’s proud of herself for still giving us the shows she thinks we deserve WHILE also brokenhearted. she was entirely shattered WHILE the crowd was chanting “more,” not because of it. we gave her something she felt she could do and still do well, even when she wanted to just give up entirely, and i think that’s best case scenario

— Taylor on Florida!!!

ttpd is like... this fucking sucked... it was my fault... fuck joe... this also fucking sucked... fuck matty... i thought i was gonna die... straight up commit me to an asylum... FUCK matty... fuck joe... no one knows me... fuck kim kardashian... i created every problem and every consequence i have to face... please see me as human... i am exposing my flaws so you see me as a real person... fuck jake gyllenhaal... if you're gonna be so up my business you better realize how fucked up my business is... also hi killatrav ily... there is nothing redeeming about this chapter of my life... hi mom ily... this ALSO fucking sucked... there may be good in the world... here is every sin i have ever committed... i was promised love and forever repeatedly and no one ever delivered... my reaction to trauma was awful... i made so many bad decisions... if you're gonna crucify me do it for good reasons... are you not entertained?

I CAN DO IT WITH A BROKEN HEART SONG OF ALL TIME

Obviously we have to wait for the video to know the story, but for anyone who’s studied any kind of social history/psychology/sociology/etc. And knows a little about the diagnosis of hysteria, Victorian mores, the use of lobotomies/shock therapy/etc to treat women who failed to live up to patriarchal ideals and the minimizing of women’s physical and mental health issues historically in the medical and psychiatric fields plus the old Hollywood of it all… the imagery is Telling The Story. I am fucking SEATED.

it’s an honour to trust you with my feelings🥹🥹