In the Fell clutch of Circumstance

the thing that gets me about about barbie is that barbie land wasn’t even purposefully a matriarchy, barbie land came about because of the way little girls were playing with their barbies, it wasn’t created by mattel it was created by the people using the toys, so the fact that the barbies ignored the ken’s and had girls night every night wasn’t because they had some bias against him, it was just an accurate depiction of how kids play with barbies. I had some ken dolls as a child and they were essential to the plot in the sense that of course my barbie has a boyfriend because that represented the world i saw around me, but also he didn’t have any purpose in my dream world because i was only interested in what the girls were doing because they represented me and how i wanted to be, I wanted girls night every night I wanted the girls to be president and austronauts and not because of some inherent feminist idea but because I was a girl and I wasn’t thinking about boys, ken was an accessory. this movie wasn’t made to change the world but it showed a different perspective than what we usually see which I thought was fun. Men don’t have to be the centre of all our stories and its not even because we hate them, sometimes we’re just not thinking about them

i don’t think sex on tv is appropriate unless you see the cock otherwise it’s manipulating the viewer and basically gaslighting the audience

What about violence in movies?

glad you asked. they also have to show cock.

When Europeans discuss America:

As an American, it so SO FUCKING REFRESHING to hear our problems talked about like this. Hearing someone acknowledge how little fucking power the American people have in our system.

You can blame America as a whole for a LOT of things, and I'm not saying her citizens are blameless in that by any means, but we are very, VERY much victims in this equation as well.

You have rights because

faggots and dykes fought for them.

Respect that you cunt

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

you gotta be as gay as possible on the computer otherwise alan turing died for nothing

every show about teenagers should have an on site consultant aged 14-18 who looks over the script and says we would not fucking say that

you know john boyega was so right that finn would have a white lightsaber. the color of healed kyber- kyber that had been hurt and been used to hurt, but through healing and love being returned to it’s truest self. finn being taken and trained to hurt and choosing healing and love. finn using his powers to heal a bleeding kyber crystal when he’d only ever known the force as a force to hurt. white is also the color of stormtrooper armor, the faceless mask he was forced to become. he’ll always carry that with him, but now he carries it as a weapon to help others, a symbol of justice. he understood the assignment.

and maybe i am a little bit in love with all of my friends. how could i not be when they place their whole heart in my hands and trust me to carry it safely home? lazy days spent in comfortable silence, tearful nights spent giving each other a reason to live. the exhilaration of learning your little quirks melting into a future where i know you better than the lines on my open palms. mutual understanding to be forever gentle with one another. inside jokes that follow me long after you've gone, reminding me to slow down and laugh a little more. your eyes are the lens through which i can see the world with love. your embrace is the shelter under which i find strength to continue on.

A message:

#i literally crack up everytime #at least ten of the notes are from me

Gandalf throwing his staff at gollum is what really makes this

Thank you for commenting because I was going to scroll past this. 

this is the funniest article i’ve ever read, this woman is such a specific flavour of Done With This Particular Man and i respect her ability to keep her retaliation to scathing online articles instead of breaking his hands and/or ruining his credit score like she so clearly wants to

this is the funniest article i’ve ever read, this woman is such a specific flavour of Done With This Particular Man and i respect her ability to keep her retaliation to scathing online articles instead of breaking his hands and/or ruining his credit score like she so clearly wants to

one of my favorite lotr facts is that gondorians speak sindarin as a first language and yet when faramir was talking to frodo and sam about cirith ungol he was like “we don’t know what’s in there.” like faramir. cirith ungol is sindarin for “pass of the spider.” do the math

some of my favorite tags on this post

Don’t forget that Frodo also speaks Sindarin, which makes this even worse.

Faramir: Hey, don’t go up the Spider Stairs.

Frodo: Why? What’s up the Spider Stairs?

Faramir: We don’t know, Frodo. We just don’t know.

to be fair, you’d assume the name means “there’s a lot of spiders here,” not, “there is one spider the size of a draft horse here.” so you go up expecting to have to shoo a lot of skeeter eaters out of your tent, and instead you have to figure out how to rope and shoe godzillarantula.

Hmmm…

They do live in a world where godzillarantulas feature prominently in mythology and history (Ungoliant plunged the world into darkness, scared the crap out of Sauron’s old boss, etc) and existed within the last century in Mirkwood. Assuming they ever talk to anyone who’s been to Mirkwood. They… probably know they were giant spiders in Mirkwood pretty recently? It’s hard to figure out how much anyone in Middle-earth has been talking to anyone else when we didn’t actually see it.

On the other hand – what if it’s the giant evil spiders’ prominence in history/mythology that’s causing trouble? What if lots of evil/nasty things/places get called “spider” just to indicate how nasty and evil they are, rather than any association with literal spiders, and it’s just… overloaded? Maybe the bad part of town in Minas Tirith is the Spider District. Maybe every tavern trying to be edgy calls itself the Spiderweb.

Actually spider/Ungoliant references could be really appealing to Gondorians trying to be edgy. They’re dark and evil! Plunged the world into darkness! But they AREN’T involved in the war they’re actually fighting, they aren’t directly associated with Sauron at all, so getting too interested in them would be creepy without being potentially treasonous. Because no one’s ACTUALLY going to worship those dangerous but not epic spiders up in Mirkwood, and no one’s heard anything from any proper spawn of Ungoliant in ages and ages.

In fact, spider/Ungoliant references might be appealing to ORCS trying to express that something is nasty and creepy! Nobody likes Ungoliant.

Maybe Faramir’s been to fourteen different Spider Caves across Ithilien, and half of them he didn’t even see regular spiders in, they’re just dark and damp and may have had orcs at some point, or something, and at some point in history someone got spooked. So you know, it’s POSSIBLE Spider Pass has something to do with spiders? But really it just means people don’t like it.

(The problem with this theory is we never actually SAW anyone overusing spider references. But it’s plausible they would!)

“The average spider on Middle Earth is the size of a dinner plate” is a statistical error. The average spider on Middle Earth is smaller than a coin. Cirith Ungol (lit: Spiders Gorge), which contains a spider larger than a horse, is an outlier adn should not have been counted.

OH MY GOD

@dendritic-trees

Come for the Tolkien linguistics, stay for the Spiders Georg reference

this map, by jonathan hull, shows all the places in the USA named after the devil or hell. assuming big giant awful spiders were a common thing in middle earth, it’s likely that there were a shit ton of Spider Stairways. 

you don’t wander into Devil’s Lick assuming that satan himself is gonna give you a rimjob. you presumably also don’t head up Spider Stairs assuming an arachnid the size of a cottage is gonna try and eat your friend. 

Whole-heartedly BEGGING writers to unlearn everything schools taught you about how long a paragraph is. If theres a new subject, INCLUDING ACTIONS, theres a new paragraph. A paragraph can be a single word too btw stop making things unreadable

playing spot the newcomer is easy because they’re the mfs who censor everything

“unalive” “k!ll” you can be free here. loosen up

i dont know how to break this to you but saying the word kill will not influence that

I've got another wild surprise for you about how Tumblr works.