🤞🙏🕯🕊🔮🤞

lmao

homestuck, for all its insanity, still has the best quotes, my favorite being “the circle of stupidity is complete”

mine might be that one karkat rant like ‘your vehicle is parked squarely in the ‘nobody gives a fuck’ zone’

“Yes sir we are literally under siege by planet fucking Jupiter.”

“shit. let’s be santa”

“i’m 13 u egg”

That might be the saddest thing I’ve ever heard get said.

Well you see, the explanation is perfectly simple and scientific.  It was because shut up.  Shut up is why.

I’d throw it in the lava but that would be a waste of melting

“How old are you?” “6” “Goddamn”

Kick it barak

TIME TO RENDEZVOUS WITH MY HOMIE KILLA AND DROP THE SPECIAL SCIENCE ON HIM

My personal favorite:

time to fly up away into the sun you fucknig piece of gargbage

KARKAT: THAT SOUNDS SUPER! DOESN’T THAT SOUND SUPER KANAYA? KANAYA: No KARKAT: I THINK I SPEAK FOR KANAYA WHEN I SAY IT SOUNDS Really Fucking Super.

“You have a hat full of bomb, a fist full of penis, and a head full of empty” is my favorite tbh

@pacifriske

“This is exactly why babies shouldn’t be allowed to dual wield flintlock pistols”

God launders in mysterious ways.

today is the only day i regard this post fondly. and i love that just around this time it explodes with notes and my activity is clogged with everyones additions of quotes.

DAVE: well shit

DAVE: thats a hell of a mystery no one thought was a mystery and didnt even really need solving

DAVE: but damn if it didnt just get solved so nice work

[DAZED FROM BLOOD LOSS] hey not to kill the vibe completely but i think i am in love with you

since its homestuck day, legally i can post my favorite panel from homestuck once again

Granny Weatherwax is consistently described as handsome rather than beautiful and always keeps her hair tied up tight under her hat and has no interest in romantic or sexual contact past present or future and drives a janky old car broom which she refuses to let anyone else fix or replace and is deeply practical and self sufficient in her household management and is gruff and compassionate and mentors the younger members of her community and has zero time for bullies or bigots and what I'm Saying is. Stone Butch Granny Esme Weatherwax fucking When

Rereading the Tiffany books now and can I also say I'm also obsessed with Granny Aching and that's led me down towards Sybil too and then further like. AUGH I just love the way pterry writes women he writes them big and strong and caring and practical and unhinged and never writes a perfect hegemonic Ideal Woman he writes women that are Real they're fat they're scrawny they're old they're young they're stupid they're wise beyond their years they're wise exactly the level of their years and simultaneously stupid exactly the level of their years. Stone butch witch and her best friend in the world the horniest grandma ever. Their various adopted siblings children and grandchildren including a hippy who could explode you if she wasnt so nice, an opera singer inside a witch, and Me When I Was Nine. Werewolf. A dozen completely distinct Mulans. Incredibly angry goth civil activist who smokes like a chimneystack in a storm. Transgender chemist. Posh fat champion of the very underest of dogs. Old shepherd who would be a more recognisable witch if anyone could distract her from lambing season. Scottish Matriarch. Investigative journalist everyone respects until she looks down her nose at them in contemplation and they run for the fuckin hills. Vampire milf who keeps a gay boytoy around exclusively to cause political drama and dresses like an explosion in an antique store. Sex worker and revolutionary union leader. Absolutely fucking unmatched work by anyone especially a famous male fantasy author nobody is doing it like him

Future Grandkid: Grandpa, what was it like when Obama was president?

Me: Aah, yes… the Homestuck President.

what the shit does that mean

I see all of you people who had this post queue’d for 4/13. Good job.

ITS APRIL 13 YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

FETCH ME NEIL

Past Life Dark Urge Asks - 5th Edition:

Should I share some durgetash specific asks?

for as much as I love and adore stories where the power of hope and friendship is a blinding wonderful light, full of happiness and ease and laughter, something hits different about the way hope, in ffxiv, looks like this

covered in blood and dirt and limping forward. It’s probably been said multiple times before but isn’t it a reassuring image to know that hope drags itself through the mud just as much as you do and keeps fighting when it can hardly stand. and amidst deepest despair, light everlasting

I don't technically have a family curse.

But I have a cursed house, and the curse that comes with the house has family ramifications.

Oddly enough, this is not a joke or me being silly. Here, I will google and find a place I've talked about it...

i got spanish anon hate for this one btw

when i was a kid i had moments of being so fucking diabolical because i realized at some point the best way to leverage power over my family was to do shit that would make everybody late

our house was in the middle of nowhere surrounded by woods so when i decided i didnt want to wear dresses anymore if we were going to some event & my parents insisted i had to wear a dress i would just go hide in the woods. was so committed i almost made us miss a flight once bc my mom packed a dress in my suitcase

i only promised to stop doing this if my parents got me formal boys clothes to wear which eventually they did. i don't feel bad about resorting to violence bc i asked politely and they said no. proud of 10 yr old me for evil annoying lesbian behavior

5th grade was the last time I wore a dress for school pictures. When my parents attempted to force the issue for 6th grade, I climbed onto our roof and pulled the ladder up after me. My dad borrowed the neighbors ladder. As soon as it touched the roof I pulled it up too. By the time I had 3 ladders they were willing to negotiate, and 2 hours late for work.

the ten commandments

I am trying to work on my Skyrim alchemy skills and I am not made for this. This is not my skill. I am aware that you can't get the Purity perk until you hit level 100 but fucking hell, all I seem to do is create the most absurdly, uselessly fucked up potions imaginable. I'm like "Let's make a potion to heal me!" and then what I get is half a gallon of dubious liquid that's like "Will heal 27 hit points, deplete your stamina, clear your mortal enemy's skin, and legally change your name to Uriel Septim the Ugly."

Weirdly these potions are nonetheless quite expensive

I am BAD at alchemy

I've never seen a poison of slow turn a target invisible...

This is amazing. On re reading it-

The target is slowed for appx 1 minute

For half of that time the target is invisible

If the target is under level 11 it will try to run away while invisible and slow

It will also give that target magic back.

Do not use against mages.

What the FUCK. HOW DID YOU MANAGE THAT MUCH BULLSHIT ON ONE POTION JUST MAKE POTIONS OF FORTIFY CARRY LIKE EVERY OTHER ALCHEMY FARMER

I am v bad

It happened again T_T

I have a lot of questions and concerns but this is amazing. Can i have some recipes ?

I have no idea what I did. I think maybe there was a spider egg

Okay, so I think I'm getting better! I mean this is baby steps territory, right, BUT this latest one is at least all positive in its effects, as long as you don't intend to use magic for a minute

You know, I’ve *never* seen the “emits a small light” effect before

The reviews are IN

ps5 brain monday

Oh so THIS is the ps5 post. I can see why you all imprinted on it now that’s hilarious

happy 1 year ps5 brain monday