lmaoooo I entered ‘please’ at the checkout and they gave me 15% off I’m shook 👏🏼👏🏼

which store is this? xx

hazylines.com

omg i entered ‘i’m poor’ and i got 20% off bless :’) 

this is legit and they have really cute stuff i 10/10 recommend

i got 50c off 😬

that was a poor effort smh

^^ omG 😳 😳

my femme girlfriend: [hour and a half later] ok I’m ready to leave the house

me: [throwing on shorts and a tank top] okay baby i love you and you look so pretty

My overdressed butch ass: [hour and a half later] ok I’m ready to leave the house

My femme girlfriend: [throwing on a sundress and head scarf] okay baby I love you and you look so handsome

Me: [after spending 6 hours on my hair and makeup] Babe I’m ready to head out now

My femme wife: [who has also taken 6 hours] Okay babe I love you I’m ready and your highlight is poppin severely but you need to blend that contour in a little bit

Me: [fixing her eyebrows] I love you

this post fixed my brows and cleared my skin

National Geographic photographers are metal as fuck

actually thought about doing this for a profession..

okay so theres an episode of whats new scooby doo where the gang goes home on valentines day, and i guess the studio really wanted to avoid the implication that daphne and fred were sleeping together because daphne and velma live together and fred lives with shaggy and scooby 

but that attempt at avoiding anything risque backfired spectacularly because now it just seems like daphne and velma are a comfortably domestic couple and fred is trying to learn how to live with his boyfriends over excitable and really hungry great dane

It’s far cuter like this anyway.

OOOOOOOOOOOOH SNAP

I relate to this more than I relate to myself

YOU CANT CHANGE THE VOLUME OF THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD

FUCKING TRY I DARE YOU

ITS IMPOSSIBLE AND ITS REALLY FUCKING WITH MY MIND SOMEONE HUG ME

I CAN MAKE IT SCREAM WITHOUT GETTING LOUDER

H E L P

Holy shit whispering is the same volume as shouting as loud as I can

what have you done

We think in concepts Concepts have no volume Because a thought is the loudest silence of all.

whoa there socrates

my granddad just called me to tell me how big his cauliflowers are growing and it was so cute theyre “TWICE as big as the ones you get in the shop”

i told my granddad this post has 3,500 notes and he said ‘who are they? do i know them?’ he wanted me to list everyone and see if he knew anyone

If you don’t reblog cauliflower granddad, then you’re just a mean person.

oh my god

delete the rest of the internet and leave only this video

Oh my GOD

@imqueenshannon

Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it” 

Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect. 

To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.

On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.

I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…

Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.

The lengths we go for music.

Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.

One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”

And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:

[stifled giggling]

[reeeeeeally deep breath]

[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]

The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.

In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”

FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.

This is the best band post 

Everyone else go home

Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this

which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,

that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that

Who does that?

This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.

Julius IdontgivaFucik

More like Julius Fuckit

Pyrozod’s tags for this were too hilarious not to share

I haven’t been in band for years but this made me laugh so hard

I haven’t seen this post in ages and I’m dying of laughter

I didn’t think it could get better after The Foghorn Tuba Story, but it did. It got better. Bless you, MusicTumblr.

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same pj