millennial nerd bertie wooster for some reason

holy heck, tumblr, i was expecting 50 notes but you all really liked my woosterposting! here’s... more of it...??

i have not seen this meme in so long im loving it

one of the reasons i love tumblr is that occasionally classic memes like this show up on my dashboard

It’s like reaching into the cupboard for food and accidentally finding a 19 year old can of soup that you’ve kept for sentimental reasons

The worst part of anal sex is having to be sure you don't hit their prostate at the wrong spot and accidentally restore them to factory settings.

The finest of china, found in a Goodwill in Los Angeles, CA

I regret not buying it

!!!! I have the mug that goes with that!! I didn't realize there was a matching plate, I only have the mug- got it at a Goodwill in Colorado

artist is vicki sawyer. duck is is called madeline!

plate x cup x

BUT WAIT THERES MORE

X

X

X

X

artists website includes free colouring pages :)

FROST, EMBER, AND THUNDERSTORM HATCHING POTIONS RETURN!

They’re back! Between now and 8 PM US EST on November 30, you can buy fan-favorite Frost, Ember, and Thunderstorm Hatching Potions from the Market and use them to hatch any standard pet egg. (Magic Hatching Potions do not work on Quest Pet eggs.) Magic Hatching Potion Pets aren’t picky, so they’ll happily eat any kind of food that you feed them!

After they’re gone, it will be at least a year before these Magic Hatching Potions are available again, so be sure to get them now!

omg i can finally complete my ember & thunderstorm collections

Once again, Tumblr manages to succeed via just being honest with their users.

I made a post back around April fool's about the crabs being so popular because the joke was that every other website tries to trick you into clicking things so they can make money from your clicks and what if instead a website just asked "please click this revenue generating crab. It is there to generate revenue. In return you will have clicked on a crab. Nothing more." And the answer to that question was "people will frantically click on that crab. They don't hate the idea of the website getting money, they hate the idea of being profited on against their will".

So Tumblr implemented actual revenue crabs. "For this much money you can fill your or someone else's dash with virtual crabs. This will have the effect of there being crabs on their screen."

And people will buy those crabs. Because yes you're spending money on something stupid and useless but it's being sold to you as "hey you want something stupid and useless?", which is a nice change of pace from every other site trying to make itself out to be something more than what it is.

Twitter is floundering with the checkmark system because it's being sold as "confirm that you are someone important and who you say you are is true", which it isn't at all right now because anyone can buy one. You're buying a useless checkmark that only says that YOU think you're important. Or, more often than not right now, you are intending to trick other people into thinking you're someone you're not.

Meanwhile, Tumblr just said "Consider this double check mark. It does nothing. You will be marking yourself as someone who paid money for a meaningless checkmark and sometimes it will randomly turn into a bunch of crabs, making the site harder to use". And the userbase is like "Well sure, that sounds delightful."

The point is, despite what all the marketing and advertising people have tried to say, painting trash gold and trying to pass it off as something better is almost never as effective as just saying "hey you want this trash?"

Why yes, in fact, I do.

So tvey're charging real money for the checkmarks? I assumed that part was a joke and thet were free

Any case, I don't think we should buy those checkmarks

Don't let them fool you that you are more clever than twitter users and that you are upseting elon musk. This is a step to monetize our willing "cringyness". Yes, this is silly, and Indo love to spend my money in silly things, but I still won't pay you for using your site bye. Nice try

A site needs money to run, my friend. People profit off me all the time. A store profits from me when I buy something from it. A restaurant when I eat there. The issue is how they do it and whether I'm allowed to have a say in when and how they do it..

There's a big difference between "I don't want websites trying to squeeze every penny out of my usership by including more and more obtrusive ads and selling my personal data" and "I will throw a few dollars towards a website that provides a service I use and enjoy".

Is tumblr still doing that other stuff? Sure. Is it a perfect website? God, no. Should we continue to be extremely wary of the attempts on the part of the site to make itself seem less like a business and more like a friend? Of course!

But people wasting a bit of their money on a joke to support a website they'd like to continue to exist is not particularly malicious.

This is basically why I love living in Philadelphia and miss it desperately.

Miriam Adeney

This.

This will haunt my nightmares.

Squelch! Squelch is the technical shorthand for noise gating. Your antenna will constantly pick up ambient noise, which is useless and annoying to listen to all day while you wait for a call. Squelch tells the radio to mute the speakers if the overall power of the signal coming through is below a certain level. You twiddle your squelch until it just cuts out ambient noise, and when someone tries to talk to you the extra power from their signal will go above your squelch setting and it'll unmute so you can hear whoever's calling you.

You know what? Fuck you. *untwiddles your squelch*

​she twiddle my squelch till i end up abandoned and unidentified at a local museum

The Maddy era of Jonathan Creek was everything. She kept that man like a pet

The things you really need to understand if you’ve never seen Jonathan Creek:

1) You need to watch Jonathan Creek

2) The entire premise is “wacky guy solves murders by being wacky” but it’s so turned on it’s own head simply through the performances of the two mains. Jonathan wears the same outfit every day, has a nonbinary curly shag haircut, and lives in a windmill and designs magic tricks for a living, and somehow Maddy is the one who is by far the absolute freak

Maddy, breaking into Jonathan’s windmill at 7:16 on a Tuesday morning: Hey. [wakes him up by hitting him in the face with a wet packet of crisps] Hey. There’s been a murder

Jonathan, not even opening his eyes: I gave you keys. Why do you not just use the keys. The keys to my house which I gave you.

Maddy: Dropped them in the sewer. [reopens the wet crisps and starts eating them in huge damp handfuls] These taste like shit. [continues loudly eating them]

[pins this to the post and points at like a teacher highlighting the best answer on the test]

chaotic neutral

If you can’t find a place on your blog for Patrick Stewart in a bathtub dressed like a lobster, then your blog probably doesn’t deserve such majesty anyway.

It has returned to my dash and I cannot fight the compulsion to reblog…

the patrick lobster appears only once in a thousand years, reblog for good luck

Capitaine Jean-Luc Homard

theres just something real special about the advice the brothers give in response to women asking about gross men, and personally i love it more than most things

Transcription under the cut:

Keep reading

I gotta tell y'all, it's really fucking depressing and stark being a small business in the age of 'all brands are equally evil' because of Twitter bullshit and brands trying to migrate to Tumblr or whatever.

If we pay for advertising, we're evil. If we don't pay for advertising, we might as well not exist on the major platforms (or on the web at all). Etsy is a hostile mess of a platform that we outgrew ages ago.

Anyway I guess what I'm saying is y'all say you love indie artists and companies that live the kind of values y'all love, but have like no nuance when you talk about this shit. If you want companies that start their people at $24/hr and make the kind of queer clothing and art y'all say you love to exist, please engage some nuance when talking about small businesses run by indie artists vs fucking megacorps. "Block every brand post!" Yeah, you know who can survive that? The giant brands. You know who immediately starts stressing over making payroll?

Yeah.

If you want little companies run by artists to survive, you need to engage some nuance. Hard on the internet, I know. But it's gotta happen.

oh. i just found out that the writer of the vincent van gogh doctor who episode wrote it as a tribute to his sister.