The Diary of a Something

a small collection

oh he's your 'right hand man'? for what, jerking you off?

an ice cold beer topped with a scoop of vanilla ice cream. lying on top of the ice cream foam is a salted peanut. this is the angel. around him are sprinkles (his tears). this is "the angel's lament", my new cocktail

Sure, why not. ‘Angels lament’

Albrecht Dürer Peasant Couple Dancing (1514) my beloved

look at them!!! look at them!!!!!!!!!

my dad is so funny because if you actually asked him point blank if he's an ally i dont think he'd know how to respond but like a year ago he was talking about when he used to sell houses in the 90s and he was like "yeah we had a gay couple come in and i had to tell one of my coworkers to stop being rude to them. then they invited me to their housewarming party, i dont know why. after that i had a bunch of gay couples come in and specifically ask for me, isnt that weird?" and he legitimately had never connected the dots

i literally had to be like "dad. it was florida. in the 90s. the word probably got out among the gay community that you weren't a violent homophobe so gay people felt relatively safe working with you" and he was like ".......oh. well that explains a lot."

Okay look. Stephanie Meyer contributed four (4) cool things to the contemporary fantasy genre, which I shall now list here in the hopes of getting it out of my system. In descending order of importance:

1. Writing a story about a girl who wants something. Plot driven by a woman’s (non-vilified) desire. Truly dreadful execution but still a good idea, sort of a literary incarnation of the “he a little confused but he got the spirit” meme.

2. The fact that when Bella becomes a vampire she can still breathe but “there’s no relief tied to the action” which I remember verbatim because it fucking slapped. The idea of human physical sensations being partially defined by our mortality and the sensations still exist after you become undead but your experience of them is fundamentally different because you no longer need any of it? Extremely cool. The closest Meyer came to taking an interesting stance on vampires being dead.

3. Werewolves are immortal but they can literally stop whenever they want. That shit’s hilarious. Curse of immortality who.

4. The fact that vampires don’t sleep or get tired so their communally-raised baby doesn’t have a crib because she is always in someone’s arms. That was extremely cute and there’s a different, better book contained somewhere in that specific concept.

5. Depression being represented by like 6 blank chapters titled with months.

Biblically accurate Falin

sometimes you have to choose the neural pathway less traveled in your brain

god imagine seeing this happen like every single day

bonus:

A Geralt of Rivia, from back when I was reading the books

chilchuck going "sorry leave me outta this one. i cant fight" but then hitting literally every precise shot with an arrow or projectile he ever made in the story INCLUDING PIERCING A RED DRAGONS EYE BY THROWING A KNIFE WHILE LEAPING AWAY my bro is a rogue with dex 20 and wants no one to know biggest liar in history

As a fellow union man i can relate - you do not let your employer know you can do anything you don't want to become your job

Bitches will find a fictional man attractive and then immediately imagine him in situations where he is losing alarming amounts of blood

as above (hairy pits), so below (full bush)

is the witcher fandom even on here? or existing beyond polish dads? idk but worth a try