‘Cause we were like, “woaaaah.”, and I was like, “woaaaah.” and you were like, “woaaahh…”

my dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow

Clint Barton S.H.I.E.L.D. recruitment manager

every day the same telemarketing company calls us. I’ve asked to be taken off their calling list, I’ve tried to be civil, I’ve even tried to not answer the phone, yet they’ll keep calling. So now I’ve resorted to making the phones calls as annoying as possible for them.

Today I asked the person to hold while I got a pen and paper. As of now, they’ve been waiting 45 minutes.

Update:

I just asked him if he was still there, then when he said yes i told him i had found a pen but no paper, but that i’m still looking. It’s been an hour.

I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN ON TUMBLR AND YOUTUBE WHILE THIS GUY WAITS. IT’S BEEN ALMOST AN HOUR AND A HALF

Update:

After an hour and 35 minutes I told him that i had found paper, but my pen was dead. He hung up. Ah well, i’ll just do it again tomorrow!

You are the future

As a former telemarketer, I can tell you that the only reason that guy hung on the line for so long was because he didn’t really want to make any more calls anyway and was probably reading a book or chatting with friends while you pretended to find paper and pen. He was enjoying your mischief as much, if not more, than you were. You literally gave this guy an acceptable reason to take an hour and a half break. You are his hero. He likely only finally hung up because it was officially his break time anyway. He probably told all his co-workers about your call and they’ll be laughing about it for weeks.

Holy shit, is this a happy ending to a post where everybody actually wins?

ACTUALLY YES because according to parental unit number one, telemarketers get paid by how long they’re on the phone with someone. so you were literally helping this friend get paid by doing absolutely shit

vive la resistance

how

“Bring confortable clothing fit for physical activities”

Me:

if i was a skeleton i would just say “that really rattles my bones” in response to literally everything

stop being rude to immigrants please and thank you

@hippieswordfish

Sebastian Stan during the Civil War press tour

Unusual Bird Nests Built In The Weirdest Places

shapeshifting is the best super power because you can have any haircut any time you want, you can turn into a hotter version of yourself, you can turn into a dragon, you can turn into a robot, you can turn into a shambling mound of abstract shapes and sulk outside your estranged father’s house at night while chanting ominously about his sins,

This took a weird turn, but I’m still on board

can someone please put together a masterpost of workers’ rights because i don’t even know where to start