Keep it Chilly

I just want it all to stop.

And how come every time I break up with someone they always find someone new to date immediately? Am I really that disposable? Am I really that unimpactful that I can just be fucking thrown away and replaced? God I hate my stupid pathetic ass life god I fucking hate myself and I hate everyone else too fuck it all

This blog just turn into a vent page and I just don't even fucking care anymore there's nobody here that I really know in real life that can judge me so whatever. I just want to fucking die I'm sick of pretending that I'm actually going anywhere in life and that people actually care about me cause I know its wrong. I just wanna die and take all the pain and burden away from my family and friends. But its not so fucking easy cause then I think for a second that someone will care. But inevitably just like tonight I'm always alone and if I try to talk to any of my friends they just brush me off and stop talking to me. They don't care. Nobody cares. And I probably deserve it too. I'm tired of crying myself to sleep every night and feeling like the most worthless person in the fucking world. I miss being a kid and not having to worry about any of the shit I do now I miss when I had a better relationship with my parents and when they trusted me. I miss how genuine my friendships used to be. I miss having feelings that weren't suicidal and depressive. I just want everything to be Over.

Nobody genuinely cares about me anymore and I can see why but. It only makes more and more sense that I should just fucking die instead of trying. I'm not gonna go anywhere in life and all I do is just fuck everything up. Even my parents think I'm a complete fuck up. And don't even try to convince me that I'm a good person or some stupid shit cause I know its all just lies. So you can feel like you ""saved"" someone. I'm sick of that shit. Just let me fucking die please

You're full of shit.

I fucked up so many fucking times this week that it makes me wonder why i even try

im so tired and i feel so empty and emotionless i dont even know what i want out of my life i have no direction and im useless as hell i really dont deserve to live